Dismissed
by Portia6
Summary: Chap.19 up! Thanks to Lone Demon for help with chap. 17! Thanks to Docky and SL! This for you guys!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:Hellsing will never belong to me. Why?  
Because I can't.  
Enjoy or try to.  
  
  
"So.....after you desecrate the building, burn the ancient texts...with the so called "Devil's work" in them.....after you terrorize the poor historians, by the way Mr.Nichol's is probably never to going wake up from his catatonic state due to you sticking your gun in his mouth and screaming where the ghouls were HEINKEL...after you realized you were at the wrong location and even offered to put out the fires with holy water, so very kind of you all I'm sure....but then again by that time you ran out of holy water and ran out of time to stop the ghouls from slaughtering the Sunday school's pet goat and sheep they needed for the reenactment of the Birth of our Lord Jesus Christ ...after all this...you still expect me to look the other way?"   
  
"Yes sir." came the unanimous reply.  
  
Maxwell narrowed his eyes at the three before him, and slammed the police report down on his desk loudly. Two jumped as the report met the desktop, but the other just smiled widely.  
  
"So what" Heinkel said casually."They can get another goat and more sheep.They can clean the bloodstains with just a little soap and wat-"  
  
"SO WHAT?"Maxwell bellowed, once again making the other two jump.  
  
"So what Miss Wolfe Heinkel?I'll tell you this.......those children's minds will be forever shattered because of the goat's head stuck ON.THE.CROSS. Yes, On the bloody Cross where He sacrificed Himself so we can be spared from Sin. Now,you do know that once Hellsing gets a hold of this,they'll never let it go. Once the Pope finds out,he'll cut us off for good. Do you think that he wants to pay for those texts that have been passed down for thousands of years...ones that have still to translated? NO! He'll place this on us, and I'll take my turn to place it on all three of you."  
  
"But Father Maxwell....."   
  
"Shut it Sister Yumiko! Must I show you the little finger of Mr.Williamson that YUMIKO sliced off to stop your piteous, sniveling attempts to lessen the burden that you have placed upon yourself. Cannot even control her own other self....pathetic!"  
  
Yumiko turned bright red and pressed her lips togther , tucking her hands under her habit to grip her rosary tight.Two fat tears threatened to leak out as she bit her lip so hard it drew blood.  
  
But Maxwell wasn't yet done. He turned his snarl onto Alexander Anderson, shifting uneasily in his seat, trying in vain to hide the blade under his coat....unluckily he was in sitting postion and the blade was too long to tuck away without standing up.  
  
"And I musn't forget the main offender in this case. Alexander Anderson, Paladin Knight of the Catholic Church. Oh so wonderful Divine Instrument......this is certainly not the first offense you have done and not the worst, but one that could threaten your very existance and title here in Iscariot. Book burning Anderson? How very Adolf of you to suggest such a thing. Remember Alexander.....the poor coward shot himself in the head AND lost the war.Such as now, for the damage you have inflicted is the bullet in your twisted mind. 120 volumes Alexander.....all burned to ashes, such as the ones still clinging to your gloves. Don't you try to hide them sacerdos! Tu asinus! Miser, ignavus, insolens canis! Deus!"  
  
Maxwell fell back into his chair, and placed his hands over his eyes.  
  
"This cannot go unpunished...this cannot go unpunished or He will see as weak and succumbing to the Dark Lord's work." He muttered to himself.  
  
"But Father Maxwell......God loves forgivness and all those who give it unto others."  
  
"Yumiko.....don't make me bring out that finger and throw it onto your lap."  
  
Maxwell took off his glasses and sighed.  
  
"There is only one punishment that can fit this scenario truly. You have been pampered well here.. given the best praises, given the best equipment, given only respect and admiration for your attempts to cleanse this world of the dead and all who associate with them. But......there are times when one must kill something you love to gain...wisdom, moeny, things that bring pleasure and stray you from the Path. In this little incident however, I believe it shall prove a postitive effect and maybe teach all three of you a lesson...put you in your place, to be more literal?"  
  
Silence filled the room, and Heinkel lifted an hand.  
  
"And?'  
  
Maxwell looked up, a slow smile forming.  
  
"Dismissed. All of you. For a month." 


	2. Maxwell you fucker!

"What?!"  
  
"You all heard me. I want your pocessions cleaned out of your quarters and out.Do not dare to come back or perform missions in Iscariot's or the Vatican's name! DO I make myself clear Heinkel, Yumiko and Anderson?!"  
  
Anderson stood up and planted his hands firmly on either side of the desk, leaning forward to stare into Maxwell's twitching eyes.  
  
"Enrico, for over thirty years I have killed for Iscariot and in the name of God. I have saved infants and done my work with great vigor despite harsh conditions that sometimes it places me under. I have been shot, my arms cut off, spears through my chest and only He knows how many injuries...and still you overlook these for a mistake that anyone could have done!"  
  
Maxwell curled his lip, and reached up a finger to poke the priest in the forehead.  
  
"Anyone? I can hardly believe that the Divine Instrument of Justice can make mistakes.I demand perfection Alexander.Perfection equals praise and praise equals moeny that puts food in our mouths and a bed to sleep in.I have dismissed, even killed those before who have slipped up and tarnished our reputation and nearly exposed our work and organization.I am letting you three off easy because you have always been my favorites and the ones who actually did work that was satisfying. It's a pity really.......my favorites having to go off in the wild crowds of normal people who don't kill vampires and read newspapers and....OH NO.....don't go to church! Oh the horror!"Maxwell pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, and mocked swooning at the "horror" or it all. He suddenly grinned and straightened up.  
  
"This isn't fair Enrico" Heinkel said coldly.  
  
"Nothing is fair in life. You should know that by now Wolfe. After all, was it fair for your parents to abandon you in a ditch only to be found later screaming for Mother? Was it fair for small children to be torn apart by ghouls and for innocents to be drained of blood? You're getting off easy.....remember that."  
  
Heinkel glared at Maxwell. Jesus, the cocker's smile was about to break his face in half. Since when did he care about the victims of the monsters? If he cared so much, he should stopped hiding behind that old fart and do something about it before she brought her gun and shot his smile right off his face.  
  
"Heinkel? You've been clutching your gun and staring at me for God knows how long. Now be a nice girl and put it down....Enrique?"  
  
The old priest stepped, his eyes obscured in the light reflecting from his glasses from the dying midday sun shining through the windows.  
  
"Yes Father Maxwell?"  
  
"Please show these three out and make sure they don't leave behind any.....'presents.'"  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"You're going to regret this Maxwell."Anderson said quietly.  
  
"Rather the contrary dear Father Andy.....for once I can put my feet up and listen to what I wanted to hear for the past five years.....total, complete silence."  
  
Enrique gently pulled a weeping Yumiko by the arm, and grunted in disdainas Heinkel yanked her arm away and stormed out. Anderson walked slowly behind, and turned.  
  
"No Father Enrico Maxwell.....you ARE going to regret this.If there was no Heinkel....if there was no Yumiko....if there was no me...."  
  
Maxwell put his feet up on the desk.  
  
"And?"  
  
"You and your collared sheep would have been dead by now. For if there no sheepdogs, Enrico, who is going to protect the sheep and his little boy blue from the bloodthirsty wolves? Will you stand up to the wolves, or just hide behind the haystack and blow your horn?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"I thought so."  
  
He turned to open the door and follow the sound of footsteps and weeping when.....  
  
"I never knew you had to resort to nursery ryhmes from the orphanage to try to get your point across Anderson."  
  
The door slammed shut and made a ceramic statue of a crucified Christ fall and shatter on the floor.  
  
"DAMN!!!!" 


	3. Loose Cannons

The bags the old priest lugged out to the car contained all they needed. Little essentials, small pocessions, weaponry, ammunition, holy water, maybe a Bible or two. The moeny was at the very most enough for them to scrimp by on...barely. It was mostly for gas and the occaisional meal on the road, nothing else he had warned.   
  
They needed to understand the utter importance of staying low. Iscariot should still remain secret under tha pain of death... that or having your title and holy robes taken away for good. They must forgive Father Maxwell, he hasn't been well lately, he 's always been like this, even as a small child. But he was doing it for their own good since he is such a good man who really does care but he does let them go with such sadness in his heart. He was so disappointed his favorites had to make such a horrible mistake but he still loves them because they are such good workers.....  
  
"Enrique, are you done yet?"  
  
"Yes my child. May the holy Trinity be with you."  
  
"Yes Father."  
  
She watched as he turned his back to go up the stone steps of the mansion.  
  
"....You bloody old fart who rips off bloody fucking Star Wars posters."  
  
"Heinkel!"  
  
"I STILL can't believe this....."  
  
"HEINKEL!"  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"GET IN THE CAR AND LET'S GO!"  
  
"CAN I LEAST THROW A ROCK AT HIS WINDOWS?"  
  
"HEINKEL!!!!"  
  
"......Screw it."  
  
Five seconds later....  
  
"Good riddance to bad tra-"  
  
*CRASH*  
  
'Father Maxwell, what was that?!"  
  
"That... that was petrified pigeon."  
  
"Uh...Father...it's a rock."  
  
"....Shouldn't you be taking confessions?"  
  
"No sir, it's my off ti-"  
  
"GET OUT OF HERE YOU OLD DODDERING FOOL!"  
-------  
  
In the car, Heinkel was laughing so hard she kept swerving on the road.  
  
"So I pick up the rock and BAM hits it right in the middle!HAH!"  
  
Anderson gritted his teeth and grabbed the wheel with a hand that wasn't occupied with holding a bag.Heinkel smacked his hand and sobered up enough to actually drive straight.  
  
"So....where are we going?" said a voice from the backseat.  
  
"How should I know? Anderson, didn't you come up with something?"  
  
"That I did.....either we can sleep in the car, stay in some God forsaken seedy motel where fleas and whores run rampant..or the orphanage."  
  
"Seedy Motel." Heinkel said quickly.  
  
Anderson sighed and shook his head. "Really Heinkel, I do not see what you have against those poor children. They'll never look at Saint Nicholas and Rudolph the same way again after what you told them."  
  
"Look....he's fat, he's jolly with a jiggling belly and has a frigid wife...what do you think that red flashing nose means and why he was so eager to "help" that flying brown red nosed brat?"  
  
"Um...."  
  
"Still you didn't need to tell them that."  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"UM...."  
  
"Because it is not proper to defile God's children's ears with dirty talk."  
  
"Yet God still lets arrogant, cowardly, snide rats become priests but yet women who deserve it can't?"Heinkel hissed.  
  
"WHERE ARE WE GOING FOR THE LAST TIME??"  
  
"NO WHERE!" Heinkel screamed into the backseat.  
  
"Don't yell at the poor girl like that!" Anderson growled.  
  
"I am not yelling!"  
  
"Yes you are!" Yumiko cried, feeling tears rise up again.  
  
The car rolled to a stop by the side of the road, and the priestess got out.  
  
"Screw this..I'm walking back to Iscariot and go throw some more rocks."  
  
Anderson turned back to Yumiko.  
  
"Do not worry child....I know way to resolve this.You must believe it so...are you coming?"  
  
The nun quickly wiped away the tears with the back of her hand and nodded.  
  
Meanwhile, Heinkel kept up a steady pace by the side of the desolate road, pausing sometimes to give the ground a scruff with her heel.  
  
"Stupid....bastards.....think they can beat me down but they don't know the Wolf..."  
  
She heard quickening footsteps behind her, but she refused to stop.  
  
"...Helllllllll...."  
  
"You get back in the car..."  
  
"Quit keeping up with me!"  
  
"I can't help it, my legs are longer than yours."  
  
He was ahead of her, and she felt herself go red.  
  
"At least stop beating me in walking!"  
  
"Once again...my legs are longer."  
  
"Don't think you're going to stop me Andy....I'm a scorned woman on a mission."  
  
"And that mission would be what?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"To throw a shitload of rocks at his windows."  
  
"And why do you feel compelled to do that?"  
  
"Because I have a shitload of anger in me!"  
  
The priest paused suddenly, which made Heinkel run into him with a "oof!".  
  
It could have been, this idea, been made long ago. It seemed to him the necessary solution for such violent people such as themselves or serial killers for that matter. He remembered observing it on the playgrounds of the orphanage...the release of energy for clearer minds.Those who went out to play before their studies were the ones with the higher grades and positive attitudes, while the ones who didn't were lacking in grades and attitude, lazy and bleary eyed.The release of energy...and what way could they release it?  
  
Volleyball?  
  
No...that was just plain impossible...besides he had a phobia of flying round things.  
  
Sex?  
  
Unless they all wanted a holy orgy...out of the question.  
  
There was only way to end this, and the only way they have been taught to solve all problems.  
  
"Little...bitch."  
  
Heinkel blanched, and whipped out her gun to point it into the back of the priest.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Little bitch. Crybaby wench. May He see you and be disgusted at your weakness, and cast you down into Purgatory to cease your pathetic whimpers."  
  
"Alexander Anderson, don't make me-"  
  
"Nothing more than...a Protestant bitch."  
  
She cocked the gun.Shot one bullet into the center of his back.He winced slightly as it entered, but years had hardened himself,now the feeling was only a slight prick.Mustering up a smile, he spun around and garbbed her wrist, twisting it hard enough for her to cry out and drop the gun.  
  
"Little bitch..use a gun on me? Your own comrade? Shame be on you, and He will surely cast you down into the Fires once I'm done with you." He hissed, and threw her to the ground. She stared up at him defiantly, and reached for her gun laying a few feet away.  
  
"Pick it up and attempt to try...."  
  
"You bastard."  
  
"Little Protestant bitch" He cooed soflty, and bent down to slightly smack her on the cheeks. "Whatcha gonna do little girl? Gonna shoot the big bad dirty priest? You'll get bad dreams child."  
  
She smiled, and pulled up the gun to touch his forehead.  
  
"Amen Father."  
  
She pulled back the trigger, and shot him in the forehead. He fell back onto his back, and closed his eyes.  
  
"FATHER ALEXANDER ANDERSON!"  
  
Heinkel looked behind her, to see Yumiko running toward them.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU DO???!!!"She screamed. Grabbing Heinkel by her priest's collar,she shook her until the priest couldn't see straight.  
  
Heinkel sighed, and smacked the hysterical nun across the face.She fell to the ground, and held her mouth as she raised teary eyes to her friend.  
  
"He's not dead."Heinkel soothed. "He's a regenerator..he's outlived these before and will aga-"  
  
She stopped short, and froze in terror.  
  
"Yumiko?"  
  
"How...dare...you...touch..."  
  
"TAKAGI!DON'T!"  
  
"ME!"  
  
The nun leaped up, seizing Heinkel by the throat and bringing out her katana, the tip barely inches away from the terrified woman's eyes.She squeezed tightly, and spoke through gritted teeth, spit landing on the priest's face.  
  
"You hit me Heinkel....for too long I have suffered....you may be redeemed in my eyes...once you have the suffering of losing yours!"  
  
Just when she was to lower the tip blade into one green eye, a large sword flew out to hit the katan out of her hand.  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
"Greet one another with a holy kiss."  
  
He raised himself up to his feet, and smiled.Yumiko dropped the gasping priest, who inched her way to her gun laying near the road.The nun ran for and grasped her katana, spinning around to meet her attacker.He made his way slowly, head down and eyes closed with a raised blade in a absurd salutation.  
  
"All the saints salute you."She snapped.  
  
"The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ , and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Ghost, be with you all."He threw his head back and ran at the deranged pyschopath with her blade drawn and ready.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!"  
  
Metal slid off metal, and blood flew as they dived and attcked at each other.  
  
"YES! KILL ME TAKAGI YUMIKO! MAKE ME BLEED YOU BEAUITFUL INSANE BITCH! MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY YOU LOVELY DEMON! MAY HE SMILE DOWN YOU FOR ALL TiME! YES!"  
  
He felt like laughing...it was all coming to plan!  
  
He called over his shoulder as he fought one handed with the blood crazed girl.  
  
"HEINKEL!Come in while it's warm!"  
  
The priest stared at him for a second, and smiled with a shrug.  
  
"Might as well."  
  
*Six hours later*  
  
Over 100 injuries....  
6 times he fell only to get back up....  
57 bullet wounds....  
102 bloodsheds....  
30 times of shooting at gawking passing cars...  
They were done.  
  
Sprawled out on the cool grass, the three of them smiled happily and ignored the blood splashed all over them.Sore....aching...but released.  
  
"Truce?"He said quietly, turning a bullet riddled head to look at them.  
  
"Truce."  
  
"Feel better?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Better than sex?"  
  
"Perhaps."  
  
"Good enough."  
  
He placed the remaining arm he had under his head, and stared up into the clear night sky.  
  
"You know what?"Heinkel said as she absently rubbed a bump on her forehead.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"They said we can't kill in Iscariot's or the Vatican's name.....but fuck the piety bullshit.I say we just do whatever the hell we want, when we want, to whom we want, and just spit on their rules."  
  
"Amen to that....so what now?"  
  
"We stay here...we get in the car in the morning, and drive to no where.Agreed?"  
  
"Agreed."  
  
She sighed, and turned onto her side, listening to Yumiko's quiet snores.  
  
"You know something?"  
  
"Hm?"Anderson said drowsily.  
  
"I'm hungry."  
  
"Fighting will do that to you...want my other arm to gnaw on?"  
  
"That is just damn disgusting and you know it Alexander....besides, I'm still hurt by the Protestant remark."  
  
He chuckled softly, and turned his gaze upwards.  
  
"Well.....it's...very becoming of you.OW!"He winced as his hand flew across his cheek.  
  
"Eat your own damn arm.I'm going to sleep."  
  
"Sweet dreams."  
  
"Bite me." 


	4. Lesson 1 from the amazing trio:Don't go ...

Disclaimer:Hellsing doesn't belong to me.WHY?  
Thanks to Rcahel,BP and Docky. You all rule and have helped me alot.  
  
Lesson #1  
Never attempt to sexually assault a young girl when there is a priest/nun around...or you will die.  
  
"HELP!"  
  
A single cry was cut off instantly as a greasy hand clamped over her rosebud mouth. Hot breath brushed the back of her neck as he pressed his body to hers from behind. Her whimpers increased as he dragged her from her broken down car, into the grassy darkened field. Tears of crystal ran down her cheeks into the wool collar of her jacket, only to have the garment ripped away from her roughly as he tore at her clothes. Finally, he threw her to the ground,rudely pushing her knee high skirt to her waist with with torn fingernails that scraped the skin on her thighs. She had stayed quiet the entire time, weeping.She felt the sudden hardness of him and was more terrified than of the knife at her throat.  
  
"Stay still and if you try to run....I'll not only fucking stick my cock every single hole you have on you but I'll slit your fucking throat too."  
  
"No...."  
  
"Cunt, don't piss me off. Now lay still and it'll be all over and you can go back to wherever the fuck you came from...."  
  
She grew desperate than, biting at his hands, only to recieve a hard smack up her jaw that made the world explode in black and reds.The poor girl tried again to defend herself, but then felt the knife dig in slightly....and she then knew he would actually kill her.She was only 22.....she had so little time,she had so much to do...why this road,this hour,why no cellphone,why her,why no one else...because there was no one else.Why why why why......  
  
A black shape came into focus, and her eyes caught it quickly.They widened, and she tried not to scream to alert her attacker of her saviour or his ally. Coming closer and closer, she could see two orbs of light.....eyes, glasses...but what the hell was it?  
  
The figure then froze,and ran off into the direction it came from. She felt a sinking heaviness, and went limp as she heard the unbuckling of his belt and his increased rate of breathing. So horrible...to die alone.  
  
She closed her eyes in expectation for the tearing pain, for the rush of hot semen that would leave her shaken and broken, the stickiness that would wash away but couldn't from her mind.As she waited, she heard a surprised gasp, and a click.Blue eyes snapped open to see three shapes lingering over and her tormenter, one in the middle with it's arm outstretched and a hand digging into the eyes of the man.  
  
"Filthy sinner" a hoarse, accented voice from the right growled. "Defiler of the innocent.....stainer of virgins...dares to take what does not belong to him but to Him and the virgin that retains it for Him and his followers."  
  
"So bad!Such a bad man for doing this...you'll get what's coming to you!" a high voice from the left scolded, as if she was scolding a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar.  
  
"That's right Takagi...he will.Won't ya buddy?"A smooth voice belonging to her main saviour said.  
  
The three middle fingers of the hands dug in deeper, and the man's mouth was gaping in a silent scream.His hands flew in all directions, and a gloved hand flew out of the darkness to grab a hand from the left and a small delicate one from the right copied his actions.   
  
"We have no cross" The smooth voice continued."But this will have to do for now. Any last words?"  
  
"Je....JE..JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"  
  
"There is only one Him, and Him alone guy. Get educated. May He take pity on you and send you to the first level of Hell and not the seventh where the Dak Lord dwells and waits for YOU to suck him to the bristles.Plus,there's the fact you woke me up in the middle of the night to play hero...and believe me, I'm in a fuck of a bad mood."  
  
"Such a eloquent choice of words Heinkel." The right voice murmured.  
  
"Thank you Anderson." The voice said sweetl y, then turned cold and smooth again."May He be with you.AMEN!"  
  
The girl screamed as the decapitated body,brain and flesh fell onto her, smothering her in it.She looked up and screamed again..and again....and again.  
  
"ANDERSON! Make her stop!"  
  
"Heinkel! You could have done it so it'd be less traumatizing to the poor dear! Here here child....Let me wipe that nasty man's brains off your face."  
  
The biggest figure whipped out a hanky and began to gently wipe away the gore from her frozen features.  
  
"See?" He said with a bright smile."That man won't hurt you anymore, and you'll be nice and safe...oh don't look like that my dear! It is not proper for a lady to sit so scantily clad with her mouth open. Gives men ideas...like this one." He gestured toward the bloody body.  
  
She still sat with her eyes wide and mouth open, and he sighed.  
  
"Oh well....."He stood up and handed the hanky to her. She took it mechaniclly, jerky movemnets that matched the horrified expression on her face.  
  
The first shape came to her and draped a long black garment around her shoulders, and gently stood her up.  
  
"Okay. See that farmhouse over there" The nun spun the girl around,and gave her a gentle push. "They ought to help you. We'll wait here..just if they let you in, we'll go...after we take care of some private buisness."  
  
The girl ran as if the hounds of Hell were on her heels, and the three watched intently as she pounded on the door, and was accepted in by a aged old man and his wife.  
  
Heinkel tucked her gun away under her coat, and turned toward the body laying on the ground.She grabbed one arm, and waited as Anderson grabbed his legs and Yumiko his other arm.  
  
"Have those blades ready Anderson?"  
---------------  
  
The newspaper the day after the next reported barely of the incident that would eventually spark a ongoing saga of events that were called "The Little Evils Of Kindness." All it said was that a man was found dead on the field of the McPerson's, an elderly rural couple who were farmers of corn.   
The man, Sam Nelson, was a alleged schizophrenic from the Morrison Asylum, who back in 1992 attempted to seduce and finally rape a 12 year old girl. He was arrested shortly, but released after a court case due to tampered evidence. He then was placed in a asylum in 1996 after a break-in and the rape of a 65 year old woman and plead insanity.But in the year of 2000, he managed to breakout and terrorize the rural lands of Rome.Until now, he was unable to be found and the police were relieved that such a case was closed....but alarmed in how the man was situated when they found him.  
For you see, the newspaper didn't report everything.  
They didn't speak of the young catatonic woman who had only one thing from the encounter;a long black over coat clinging to her shoulders.  
They didn't speak of Sam Nelson's deathscene.  
They didn't speak of how he was crucified on the grinning straw scarecrow in the middle of the corn field, a blade through each hand and his feet together with a blade through them.  
They didn't speak of the hastily written AMEN in the dust made with a finger at the foot of the scarecrow.  
But then again.....newspapers never do. 


	5. Lesson 2 from the amazing trio:Ph33r d4 ...

Lesson #2:  
Never go into the forest without something big,sharp and heavy....or you will die.  
  
The children had no thought of the forest as being actually dangerous. In fact, the pale green sunlit surroundings of it rather invited one to stay and never come out into the harsh world of before. Little streams ran throughout the forest, with clear sweet water that held no sign of the bacteria swimming in it,and the wildlife held no threat. A sanctuary for those merely seeking a quiet spot to pick flowers or doze or for the hippies, a place where the cops wouldn't find them and their 'secret' gardens.  
  
The children were young and plump with the robust of childhood good health and cheerily, they were making their way on a fallen tree over a stream that could have merely been stepped over but the children thought stepping on a dead tree is magical and original.  
  
They were very stupid children.  
  
Fortunatly, bloodthirsty cliche wolves eyed the children, licking their chops at the prospect of a easy meal and the readers at the prospect of wiping these little airhead fools out of the gene pool.  
  
"Come on Susie!" a little boy said with a giggle."We have to save chipmunks and rabbits and other cute things!"  
  
Susie skipped merrily over to the little boy and hugged him, planting a kiss on his blushing cheek.  
  
"You're so kind to nature Billy!"  
  
The two other children stayed quiet, but smiled brightly as to show that they were, yes they were inferior to these cherubs, kill them now for they are inferior and have no revelance whatsoever to this lesson.  
  
The wolves gagged slightly at the overwhelming cuteness, but eventually drew up enough courage in destroying this mind numbing scene of fluff to come out of their hiding places. Snarling with foamy jaws, they circled the children with hungry eyes eager to taste the sweet sweet flesh underneath.  
  
"OOOOOOO!!!!" Susie squealed. "DOGGIES!"  
  
The wolves paused for a second, but resumed their circling with a newfound raw hatred.  
  
"HERE DOGGIE" Susie squealed so high that the wolves let out a howl of anguish to end the tormenting wail.They finally gave up on scaring their prey and dove in for the kill...when....  
  
"WHOOPDAH!"  
  
The leader of the pack snapped around quickly to confront whatever had made that horrible cry, but fell a second later due to the bullet that found it's mark in the massive, hairy head.  
  
"Nooooooooo!" The children screamed.  
  
"DEMONS OF HELL! RED EYED MONSTERS! MAY HE SEND YOU TO HELL AND MAY YOU PERISH IN THE FLAMES......Amen."  
  
Five knifes speared another wolf, and the birds of the forest burst up into air in a cloud as the wolves snarled and yowled in pain in their sparring with the priests.   
  
"Shit,there's too many" Heinkel growled as she spent round after round into the enraged beasts."Plan B....YUMIKO!"  
  
"WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG DAMMIT?!!!"  
  
The pack had truthfully never seen a creature like this before. It was all in black, with a pale furless face, something that looked human but at the same time a monster with the penchant for the spilling of much blood in it's eyes.It carried something large and sharp looking in it's hand, something that shone in the sun and blinded them.The wolves stared into the face of the creature in mute horrific awe and finally realized what it was at last.....just before they were doomed to a slash from the katana into eternity.  
  
Death has come down on earth.....and she was really pissed.  
  
YUMIKO was mad with bloodlust and laughed merrily as she exterminated the beasts, not aware of the wide blank eyes of the children and the blood that was splashing all over them. By this time Heinkel and Alexander merely stopped and watched YUMIKO with small fixed smiles, the only emotion they would allow themselves to show. After all, they must act as good examples in front of such impressionable children.  
  
Finally, YUMIKO collapsed into a panting heap with the bodies and body parts of the wolves laying all around her, the cheerfulness of the forest's music muted as the smell of Death filled the air.  
  
"Sheesh YUMIKO, you stink." Heinkel muttered as she helped her friend up."You could at least bathe ONCE in a while." She added, placing the glasses on the bridge of Yumiko's nose.  
  
Anderson came out into the middle of the field of carnage, and shook a finger at the blood soaked children.  
  
"Now see this? You don't go out into the forest alone kidddies.Try a Buddy system, or even carry a large stick, for you may never know when you're going to be confronted by these type of threats again.Do you understand?"  
  
He turned around, and proceeded to pick up several somewhat whole bodies of the pack.Slinging them over one shoulder, he smiled and waved at the children, and melted into the forest with Heinkel dragging a exhausted Yumiko in the lead.  
  
Little Susie turned to Billy with wide eyes. She didn't notice the two inferior's disppear into thin air because once again, they are not revelant and important.  
  
"Billy...WHAT THE FUCK????!!!"  
  
Billy shook his head,vomited up the peanut butter and hoeny sandwich, and fainted into Susie's hysterical arms.  
-----------------------  
  
The newspaper the next day would report of several mutilated wolve's bodies placed on the Getti family's lawn. The wife of the family had gone out to paint the aging yard gnomes and found them stuffed in the dislocated jaws of the wolves. There were no fingerprints on the gnomes, but there was a AMEN scratched into the perfectly cut fake grass with what appeared to be a sharp object with the matching blood of the wolves on it.  
It has not been connected to the Sam Nelson murder, but has been elevated to a level of "mere chance."  
Mere chances would be eliminated after the next strike of the amazing trio........ 


	6. Lesson 3 from the amazing trio:DrugsBadS...

Suggested song: Nuguns-System of a Down  
  
Lesson #3: Never try to run away with a whole lotta illegal drugs...or you will die.  
  
The road was empty, or so they thought.  
  
The pickup was relativly easy, despite they were short one bag "due to extreme circumstances. Despite the fact that Al was trying in vain to not sniff as blood threatened to pour out a nostril, and despite the fact that both of their pupils were obviously pinpoints. But Big Jake had taken mercy on them for the fact that this "flour" was the best of the best.He had thrown all ten bags to his scrawny companion, and with a snap of his fingers Al and Dewey had drove off in fear of him changing his mind.  
  
It has always been like this. They feared him, his companion feared him, the whores feared him...shit even their golden toothed, floppy hat pimps feared him. He had the guns, the moeny and the will to shoot whoever threatened his existance, no matter who they were. He had a heart somewhat...he gave to charity when the pigs got suspicious and started to sniff around. He wanted to kill them(what drug dealer doesn't think about this?) but shit, killing a cop would get him fucking forty...fifty years at the very least. Who knows who would take over? Besides, he would miss the sluts that came begging for a good hard fuck and the coke...which one he would miss more he didn't know.  
  
He turned to his driver, and scowled.  
  
"Remind me the next time we buy from those mother fuckers, we shoot their asses. Fucking stoke out on me, and think they can fucking think I'm a mother fucking nice guy.And for fuck's sake man, try not to act like you're about to piss your pants.They fuck up, they get fucked up.Mercy for the weak you know?" he grinned widely and smacked his shivering companion lightly on the face. "Mother fucking Darwin or some shit.Kill off the weak fuckers and leave in the good strong studs, like us...well more like me naw I'm just playing ya."  
  
He turned back, and ran his hand lightly over the bags. Just couldn't wait to bring it, chop it and taste sweet sweet candy.....  
  
"HEY YOU!"  
  
He jerked around to stare at his companion, who looked pale.  
  
"What the fuck was that?You hear that?"  
  
The scrawny man looked quickly to his right, and stared out the window with a small squeak.Big Jake tried to peer out as well, but found it impossibly due to the danger of dropping the bags....and he was too fat but he didn't want to admit it.  
  
"Oh shizz..." the companion said weakly.  
--------------  
  
"READY HEINKEL?" Yumiko shouted over the roar of the car's engine.  
  
"READY!"  
  
Heinkel leaped over the seat and fitted herself into the crook of Anderson's arm.  
  
"Okay Yumiko! Slow down and drive up directly to the bumper of the car! Try not to ram into it!"  
  
"Ita vero Father!"  
  
"Heinkel....one...."  
  
Yumiko slowed down and began to speed up slightly to the bumper....  
  
"two..."  
  
One foot away......  
  
"THREE!"  
  
Anderson scooped up Heinkel and threw her upwards onto the roof of the car, and grabbed the wheel.  
  
"If you need help, just say so!"He shouted as Yumiko scurried to the back seat and he slid into the driver's seat.  
  
Heinkel smiled and crouched down low, gun ready.  
  
"Oh yea...come to mommy Jakey."  
---------------  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?!!!" Jake yelled when he spotted the top removed car speeding next to theirs.He pulled out his gun and trained it on the priest.  
  
"JAKE! It's a fucking priest man!"  
  
"I'm going to Hell anyway so who's stopping me?!"  
  
Jake pulled back the trigger and shot once at his target. The priest slumped, and Jake let out a hoarse laugh as the car swerved away.  
  
"See you chickenshit?" He smacked his companion hard. "Fucking pussy."  
  
He was about to put the gun away, when he heard the clomp of feet on the roof.  
  
"Awwwwww shit, now I have to deal with this bitch too?" He listened closely to the feet, and with careful precision, placed it the gun's barrel point where he wanted it.  
  
"Fucking punkass asshole."  
  
Heinkel screamed once as the bullet entered her foot, and she resisted the urge to grab it and jump up and down on the roof. She watched in horror as blood began to seep out from the hole on top of her boot, and groaned. She reluctantly thrusta finger into the bloody hole, and felt around for the bullet.  
  
"You asshole." she whispered as she felt the bullet lodged deeply in her foot.  
  
Big Jake pull the gun away, and cursed in disgust as blood came through the bullet. hole in the roof.  
  
"SHIT now it's getting all over me!" He grabbed his companion's sleeve and began to wipe away the face.  
  
*THUMP*  
  
"YOU FUCKING ELEPHANT COCK SUCKER! YOU SHOT MY FOOT! I'LL KILL YOU! THESE BOOTS COST ME A SANDWICH AND FIFTY DOLLARS!"  
  
Big Jake pressed himself back against the seat as the screaming priest rode the hood of the car.  
  
"FUCK! She has a gun!"  
  
Heinkel smiled despite the spreading pain in her foot, and pressed the gun against the window.  
  
"All the saints be with you. AAAAAAMMMEEEEN!"  
  
Big Jake's brains splashed all over the half-crazed companion, who struggled for the gun Big Jake still clutched. Heinkel's smile turned down a little.  
  
"Aw.....and I was going to let you live."  
  
She shrugged and pulled back the trigger.Suddenly, her head whipped to the side and the dealer followed her gaze...to the priest with the smoking bullet hole in his head.  
  
"Holy mother of fuck fuck fuckity fuck...what are you guys?!"  
  
Heinkel turned her head smoothly to the wide eyed man.   
  
"We're Iscariot.....the instruments of divine justice and punishment.Our mission....is to those who disobey God....is to eliminate them to the last bit of flesh...and you my friend, made God REALLY pissed off....I think you know what happens now."  
  
"Fu-"  
  
"HEINKEL YOU IDIOT!"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"HOW ARE YOU GOING TO STOP THE CAR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND HIS SON!!!???"  
  
"....oh yea."  
  
The priest stuck her hand through the shattered glass, wincing as her uncovered fingers brushed the sharp edges and gore from the stump of the neck of what used to hold a head.  
  
She tried to steer it, but the man's hands still held the wheel and made it impossible to steer. Growing desperate, she shot at the man's hands to try and remove them, but the car's mvement jarred her aim.She turned her frightened face to the two in the car.  
  
"I CAN'T! DO SOMETHING!"  
  
Anderson sighed, and revved up the engine.  
  
"Father, what are you going to do?"  
  
"Something. Yumiko, get into the front with me, crouch down into this corner near my feet...there's a good girl. Now you're going to feel a jar and a cruch but ignore those and listen to me."  
  
The nun quickly obeyed, and Alexander gave the wheel a sharp turn when the car's bumper's were even......  
  
Heinkel clung to the car's shattered windshield, ignoring the rivulets of blood running down her hands, as it's front ran into the passenger side of their car.  
  
"JUMP HEINKEL!"  
  
She waited until it had slowed down enough for her to leap and roll onto the road, and watched as Anderson grabbed Yumiko and shoved themselves out. They crawled their way to each other, and Heinkel again felt the sharp reminder of the bullet in her foot.   
  
"Fuccccckkkk..."  
  
They finally grouped, and sat up to stare as the cars burst into flame and stop.The smell of gas, cooking flesh and oil mingled and carried itself ona breeze heading their way. Yumiko cringed, and turned to Heinkel.  
  
"And you thought I smelled bad." she joked weakly.  
  
Heinkel smile crookedly back, and shook her head. She pried off her boot, and tried not to gag when she saw the gaping bone exposed wound in the middle of the arch of her foot.Looking up again, she stared at the fireball of flame.  
  
"Least I'm not one of them" she muttered as she dipped her finger in the blood.  
  
Anderson drew himself up, and winced as he held his stomach.   
  
"The next time Yumiko, don't kick me in the stomach.We need to get out of here...if they find us we'll be surely blamed."  
  
"Uh....Anderson..We ARE to blame."  
  
"Never the less...if they should find us, Maxwell will know...and God knows what will happen." He reached out a hand and pulled Yumiko up.He held his hand out expectantly to Heinkel, who shook her head.  
  
"Wait...."  
  
She took a deep breath, and stuck her finger deeply inside the hole, and drew out a finger. Making a large A, she dipped her finger in a again and again...until she had her sign done.  
  
"Okay...now I'm ready."  
  
They were barely far enough to escape when the police sirens sounded.  
--------------------------  
They called them now the Little Evils of Kindness.  
The newspaper had reported the deaths of Big Jake, a notorious drug dealer, who was killed in a car accident along with a unknown male companion.The car was found rammed into another car with the top sawn off, whose occupants were yet to be found.  
There were no survivors, and yet another AMEN was found...this time written in blood.The blood will be tested and see if there are any matching records.  
Mere chance has been eliminated.  
A search squad has been sent out to deal with the killers.  
--------------------  
Maxwell dropped the paper, and stared into the darkness of his office.  
"So....they think they will get away with this...they think they can defy me for so long...this is the end Enrique.For too long...."  
"Sir..what about teh blood samples?"  
Maxwell smirked."They won't find anything of the sort dear Enrique...not with the proper.....present?"  
"But sir...what are we going to do?"  
The head priest placed his elbows on the desk, and leaned his chin on his enmeshed fingers.  
"Send out search squads throughout the entire country.....and when you do find them Enrique, which I hope you do not fail to do and disappoint me..."  
"No sir.....You will not have to worry."  
"Find them...and kill all three of them." 


	7. Plan A

The Knights of the Round table had given her hell on a platter once she walked in through the door.Angry stares and muttered words into the ears of one another meant to make her uncomfortable only added to her irritating headache.Sitting down with her poker face still on, she coldly informed them that yes, she was aware of the problems rising as of late.Yes, she was aware of the signs.  
  
The AMEN's.  
  
The type of blades.  
  
The sadistic way most of the victims were taken out.  
  
"But the crucifixtion is what caught my attention the most."She said. "It could have not only been the priest....despite the fact he would have no trouble placing the body up by himself and putting the blades in, the head was gone in what to be a gun blast....and I know for certain the priest doesn't carry a gun; his blades are enough for him to take out whatever enemies he has."  
  
The Knights fell quiet, and stared intently at her hand on the table, under it a file folder.  
  
"What are you basically saying, Sir Integral? That this monster has a accomplice?"  
  
Another Knight shook his head. "It's impossible! Anderson has always worked alone, such as the subway incident. Why would he need a accomplice?"  
  
"AccompliceS" Integral corrected, resisting the urge to laugh at the Knight's stupified faces. Whipping the pictures out, she threw them to the middle of the table.  
  
"Alucard was so kind as to actually travel to the Vatican and steal these records.As you may see gentlemen, Iscariot has much more ammunition then they appear to have. Takagi Yumiko is a nun, 20 years old, carries a katana.Over 400 kills in the past year."  
  
The Knights looked up in shock from the files pictures of the meek dark haired girl with the huge brown cow eyes.  
  
"A killer nun?!"  
  
"She has a reason" Integral said quickly. "She has a spilt personality of sorts, otherwise she can not bear to kill once it goes back into her subconcious. How it is triggered we do not know, but she is a deadly opponent if crossed. Father Anderson would want her with him, for she may come to good use...in what ways I do not wish to think about."  
  
"For God's sake, he's a priest Sir Integral. Unless you are suggesting he wants her for checkers and sipping tea with, it cannot possibly be the alternative."  
  
Integral shook her head and spoke once again. "Wolfe Heinkel, 24 years old, priest/nun, carries twin handguns.She has quite a record I'm afraid, she has done nearly everything in the book that can bring one to, pardon my crudeness, vomit or burst into sobs."  
  
"Such as?"  
  
"Oh the usual Catholic themed executions...beheadings, digging fingers into the eyes and shooting at point blank range, crucifixtions, stabbing bible pages into the faces of her victims, once she shoved two minature crosses into the eyes of a Serb rebel leader while he was still alive.Plus, there are those castrations of the rapists, but she has gotten sloppy.....Sam Nelson still had his genitals when they found him."  
  
She stared in rare implike delight observing the paled, horrified faces of the Knights.  
  
"This....this.....this is going to be unstoppable." one stuttered."We cannot deal with these creatures, these sadistic monsters."  
  
"No sir, you cannot take them out for YOU are a circle of fat, aging men who probably break a finger trying to shoot." Ignoring their scoffs of indignance, she continued. "We retain one thing they want the most: Two vampires,Alucard and Miss Victoria. Perhaps..if the precautions are taken...we can lure all three to us."  
  
The Knights looked at eacho other, and then focused intently on Integral.  
  
"Like fish...to the bait." One said slowly.  
  
Integral nodded. "If those two are not enough, then I'll be forced to use my own self as a teaser. Judas Priest and I still have a grudge" she said bitterly, as the memories of her against the wall and Anderson and her swords at each others throats danced in her head." And if there is one thing they would love is to kill off the only Hellsing alive."  
  
"Isn't that a tad risky?"  
  
"You want this to end, then I will do it. I am not afraid of the consequences." She said bravely. "God knows it will shut you up for a while and not point out my mistakes so eagerly."she added under her breath."  
  
"What was that Sir Integral?"  
  
"Nothing at all good sirs. This meeting is dismissed."  
  
She stood up and turned on her heel.  
  
"I have to speak with Alucard....about this new matter."  
-----------  
He stood on the ceiling, grinning down at her as she spoke to him without emotion of what she expected out his newest misson. He was surprised she actually wanted Miss Police Girl to help him. He had always suspected she thought of the girl as nothing but a inferior....nothing more than a ready walking gun to use in the stickiest of situations. He smiled wider when she told him of the Judas Priest, making him looking ghastly and horrible to look at more than 60 seconds.  
  
"The other two will have no effect upon me" Alucard said casually"Mere mortals I suppose, unless the priest took the time to turn them into regenarators like himself, but it is unlikely." He tapped a finger against his lower lip. "By now, he's selfish enough to want that 'honorable gift of God" all to himself."  
  
Integral frowned, and leaned forward.  
  
"You say the other two won't be able to inflict much damage, but what about Anderson, Alucard? He nearly killed your sla...apprentice and nearly you as well twice." She took a deep puff on the cigar between her fingers. "Surely this time you think you'll be able to destroy him?"  
  
Alucard chuckled, and flowed down to the floor. He came to her desk, and leaned on it and stared into her icy blue eyes.  
  
"Do you doubt me Master?"  
  
"Despite the fact you have been beaten twice by a regenarator....maybe." She leaned back, mentally counting the inches she had bought herself from his red eyed gaze. "Do you think Walter will be necessary? Between the three of you, he and Miss Victoria will be able to take out the nun and priestess, and you can have the priest all to yourself."  
  
Sniffing slightly at the tickle of smoke in his nose, he closed his eyes.  
  
"It would be unfair...if I didn't let that police girl co-op with me when I attack the priest no? Captain Galice deserves that much, isn't that correct Master? She deserves the honor of killing the enemy, to avenge the death of poor, poor Captain Galice. Be so fitting, the irony is thick enough to cut in half with a knife.....but it is all up to you."  
  
She twitched and took another puff.  
  
"I'll be taking that a as a 'Yes.'." He stood back up, and stepped backwards until he melted into the shadows.  
  
"I take up your command....my master." 


	8. Plan A Eliminated, The Fish are Here, Pl...

Suggested song:E Nomine-Vater Unser  
  
  
Lesson #4: Never try to invade a secret vampire hunting organizations with two mortals.......  
  
Making their silent way through the expanse of forest, they trained their eyes on the main target they have wanted to hunt for days. It was vunerable, it was exposed, stripped of the forces they thought they would not need so soon. Towering and huge, it stood against the dying day's ball of fire clearly and kept their eyes locked onto it's glory and captivated their want with the promise of another job done. Inside, the prey would be taken unexpectantly, surprised at the attack...they fall to silver that would drip with the blood of a noble they served like mangy dogs. If they fell, then the rest would fall, and more would fall little by little until the world blew away their ashes off the ends of the four corners of the earth.  
  
It was the mission that all three were made for. The death of the vampires would equal their peace of mind that they have been seeking for over 20 years. It was righteous, at least that what Maxwell and He had always said to them. He remembered the times of old when people could walk at night without a clove necklace or some silly superstitious old wife cure around a neck, hand, torso or hips with holy water splashed on instead of aftershave or perfume.....he remembered the bodies of the dead as their souls and life were taken and sent to Hell for being tainted by demons having the faces of humans and the teeth of Cerebus. The doctors had thought they could wipe away the memory of before with their false science, but then the procedure hadn't been as advanced as what they were testing now.With memories wiped clean off the slate and a weapon in hand, they were invunerable to all that tried to make them fall. But they still envied him for his memory, and how much it has brought to them. It had been his idea to bless the blades, to dip the sliver into cool water, for the bullets to be touched by the Pope. His memory had taught him this and much more than he could count.But he still did not have one answer to the hardest question of all...and it bothered him and drove him to kill off as many as he could in the name of God and all that was pure and holy in this forsaken world.  
He had the Divine Gift.......and damn him to Lucifer's wicked eyes if he didn't put it to good use.  
  
"Amen."  
  
"What?" she said, pausing to ease her foot a little.  
  
"Nothing." he said aruptly and continued walking.  
--------------------  
  
Seras laid stretched out on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, refusing to let her eyes wander to the ice cold bucket with a medical blood bag nestled inside.A gift from her Master, he had said, since she was looking quite pale lately. She could have laughed in his grinning face at that second.....of course she was pale, she was dead, wasn't she? But she had simply thanked him meekly and gone to her quarters only to place it on the table and avoid it.  
  
"I am not going to drink it.....I am not going to drink it....I am not going to drink it.....he can't make me.....I won't do it...I can drink tomato juice, yea...tomato juice.......that's a good substitute right? It's red isn't it?...RIGHT?"  
  
She fell quiet, and looked over at the bag.  
  
"......I hate you."  
-------------  
  
The three of them crouched as they neared the door of her office.The monster was no where in sight, his slave gone, her servant God only knew where. The getting in had been relativly easy...simply slicing up the door handle has done the trick. He turned to them , and gave a quick jerk of his thumb.They went to either side, with him in the middle.  
  
"In the name of God."  
  
"In the name of God."  
  
"In the name of God."  
  
"I want the vampire and his little girl for myself...Yumiko, keep a lookout for that old man....watch out for his wires, they will cut you badly if they touch you.Heinkel...I shall give you the honor of killing the woman."  
  
Heinkel smiled, and held up her twin guns.  
  
"Two taps in the head and one in the heart and I'll be done."  
  
Anderson shook his head. "No no.....I want her face intact......if the press decides to take pictures I want them to know it's truly her and not some other body.Besides...her dead face on the front page would be a delight. Three in the heart will do it, one in the gut if necessary.Beware of her sword, she'll stab you if you get to close from the front.....get her from the back and disarm her of whatever you can find."  
  
"Tu placet?"  
  
"Ego placet." he responded with a wide grin. He lifted his knives, and lifted them to crash through the wooden door.  
  
"GOODNIGHT SIR HELLSING! AMEN!!!"  
------------  
  
Integral barely looked up when the first knife slammed into the wood,and as another and another cracked and broke the door.  
  
"HOW?!" She snapped as she slammed through her desk drawers for her gun......she lifted it and checked the chamber.  
  
Empty.  
  
"Damn..." she hissed as she once again went through the compartments for the bullets. She heard a crack, then a boom as the door slammed open.Her eyes widened, and lifted the gun.  
  
"Bastard. How dare you do this to me?! I am Sir Integral Wingates Hellsing and I demand you leave at once before I am forced to put a bullet in each of your brains!"  
  
Heinkel, with her smile still spread across her face, circled Integral and her desk slowly, the barrel of the gun follwoing her every move. Anderson ran out the door after acknowlodging the situation, and went for the stairs that led down into the basement with a lightness in his step and a knife in each hand.Yumiko took her place outside by the doorframe, and peeked into the room to watch.  
  
"Come on bitch....why don't you shoot now? I'm wide open and ready for your pissy little bullet Protestant slut!"  
  
Integral gritted her teeth, and backed against the desk.'These Catholic dogs are filthier than I thought' as she kept her gaze and mind locked on her clever enemy.Never could tell when the time was right to run and rip her throat out.... She felt a movement behind her and turned slightly to glance out the corner of her eye. The priestess took this chance to leap on Integral and slam her onto the top of the desk, her gun to the woman's chin.  
  
"Call for your pet why won't you?" Heinkel snickered. "Call your precious puppy to come and save you...no matter however. The Divine Instrument will rip him to shreds whether or not he comes.By then, I shall give you a mercy and shoot your cold heart so you won't have to watch his head get speared on the knife that will kill him.But the police woman and the butler....THE BUTLER! YUMIKO!"  
  
Integral glanced at the shock on her attacker's face and craned her neck to look at the doorway.  
  
"WALTER!" she cried.  
  
The old man had his hand wrapped around the terrified nun's torso, holding a razor wire at her throat with his free hand and jaws, his eyes locked with Heinkels.  
  
"Let her go priest."He growled through his gritted teeth and pressed twh wire closer to the whimpering nun's throat.  
  
"Fuck you old man! LET HER GO!" She screeched, but Integral felt her grip slacken a bit.  
  
"Not until you let her go." He urged. "I do not wish to kill a innocent nun and be damned to eternity....but I must hold my loyalties to the Hellsings and the Hellsings alone..like you would follow Iscariots..Now.....let her go and I'll release the nun!"  
  
Heinkel stiffened, and stared down at Integral's impassive face. Letting otu a huge sigh, she dropped her gun and stepped away.  
  
"Fine." she kept her gaze lowered.  
  
Walter stared at her for another few seconds, and released Yumiko gently from his hard grip.The nun let out a a little shriek and ran for the sullen priestesss, and Integral held out her hands.  
  
"Your gun." She said stiffly.  
  
"What did you say?" The voice hissed back at her curt demand.  
  
"I said, your gun. If you are not going to kill me, then you might as well give up your weapons."  
  
"And let them be tainted by a Protestant bitch? I dare not to hope you are actually serious."  
  
"She is." a voice said softly behind her, and she felt the barrel of a very big and very heavy gun press against the back of her skull.  
  
"Your guns." the voice whispered. "Drop them on the floor....kneel down, and place your hands on your head.You too nun....I do not want to deal with two worthless mortals who think they can defeat darkness and still come out with a fist full of light.Where's the priest..."  
  
"How should I know..." Heinkel muttered.  
  
Alucard sighed, and grabbed Yumiko by the hair and roughly jerked her up. Ignoring her cry of pain, he put his gun to her trembling lips and kicked Heinkel hard on the side of her chest. The priestess winced and gasped for the breath knocked out of her, and stared at Yumiko's tears running in slow rivulets down her face.  
  
"The priest?" He demanded again quietly.  
  
She told him.  
----------------------  
  
The priest at this time was coming up to the little vampire girl's quarters. Knocking once, he raised one knife and waited.  
  
"Yes? Who is it? If you wish to come in it's unlocked.  
  
Perfect.  
  
He waited another few seconds, and she once again called out, her tone this time slightly impatient.  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
He knocked again, and heard the squeak of bedsprings.The door creaked open and she stepped out.  
  
"Now see here-"  
  
Her voice froze in her throat, and went five shades paler. Letting out one shriek of pure fear, he slammed into her and forced her down on the bed, her back painfully bent over the side and her throat exposed.  
  
"Thought that you could escape your punishment little vampire wretch?" he snarled as he leaned into her face. "Thought that I would never come back for you.....I have wanted you dead for a long time, because you are God's failure and He wants you, his bastard child, to die with a belly and throat filled with silver.You shall choke on the blades, and feel them pierce you to Hell's liquid fire shore when the boat comes to collect you."  
  
He raised a blade, paused, and lightly ran it down her throat,as if in whimsical thought. He gazed thoughtfully at her terrified face with something akin to hesitant consideration.  
  
"Mary Lucifer the Light Giver....Mary Magdalene the Great...all in one you meld together.Innocence that is tainted by the mark of Sin yet still struggles to retain what you have left to remain somewhat human. A pathetic attempt, but not completly worthless in the eyes of Him. Do you know that?" He said quietly.  
  
She nodded quickly, and began to ease herself out his loosened grip. He didn't seem to notice....his blade still gleamed in the fake light but had lowered.  
  
"Such fear I have seen....in the eyes of innocents." He stared down at her again, eyes widening.  
  
"There is still time! If I am not too late, you can still be saved such as I was! Come! Those who believe in Him and his servant live forever!You can still be saved, you can still walk in the sunlight years from now in a youthful form.There will be no need for the blood" his voice was growing higher , and he swept his arm at the medical blood bucket on the table."There will be no need for the blood of innocents, theer will be no visons, no killing unconsiously, and you will not be damned to Hell! Believe in me and I shall cleanse you of all that is dark and bring you back to the light!"  
  
"Such a beautiful speech made by a madman....." Alucard said with a mocking smile. "Poe was mad as well....but he did not kill, at least not unfairly and with a broken beer bottle."  
  
The priest growled and released Seras from his grip. The girl ran for a corner, and jammed herself into it and watched with relieved eyes as her master entered.Anderson clutched his swords, and dived at Alucard. The vampire leaped nimbly out of the way, and kicked with a ballet dancer's grace Anderson in the stomach.He collapsed for a second, and leaped back up.  
"Damnation!" He hissed.  
Alucard took aim, and shot at the priest over and over.Anderson seemed to gain some insight into what Alucard's move were however, and avoided most of the quicksilver bullets.  
"Damn you you Vatican son of a bitch! Stay still!"  
Finally, with pure luck, Alucard managed to shoot Anderson's leg off. The priest howled in anger as he hopped clumsily around the room.  
"Are you ready to give up yet so I may relax for once?" Alucard snapped.  
"Tis a mere flesh wound!"  
"My God man!You never give up do you?!"  
Alucard shot a round into the priest's chest, making him lose his balance at last.Alucard walked over, and planted his boot in the middle of his chest, his Jackel pointed at his forehead.  
  
"I never knew you were one to try and seduce a child to your side Judas Priest.Even after all those years ago, you still can not forget and then think up a crazy plan to redeem you and your mortal sin by saving the girl from the horrible cruel bloodthirsty vampire." Alucard let out a bark of laughter, and drew out his Jackel. "Did you really think she is that stupid? Police girl!" He said to Seras.  
  
"Yes Master?"  
  
"Come here."  
  
Seras got up and went to Alucard's side, staring directly at the priest. Alucard smiled soflty and stared at her with a father's pride as he placed the gun into her hand.  
  
"The honor is all yours."  
  
Seras stared at the gun in her hand...she was normally accustomed to her Halcannon but the handgun's weight felt easy and familair. Raising the gun, she aimed at Anderson's forehead with a practiced eye.He simply narrowed his eyes at her, and tucked the blades away in his coat.He crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
  
"Well? Are you going to kill me child? Have you even considered my promise?"  
  
"Do not listen to his lies police girl. Judas promised to be faithful to his Lord and His Son...but gave it up for the feel of silver."   
  
"I demand nothing of you."  
  
"He will demand everything including yourself."  
  
"I expect nothing."  
  
"He expects everything of you."  
  
"I wish for your repentance."  
  
"He wishes for your innocence."  
  
"I can save you from Hell."  
  
"And he will not bring you to Heaven."  
  
"STOP!" Seras screamed, and shot at the ceiling.  
  
"ALUCARD!"   
  
The vampire whirled around to stare face to face with Integral. Behind her, Walter held a shuddering Yumiko by the wrist, Heinkel beside her with her head down in irate shame.  
  
"You did not kill them?!" Alucard growled into his Master's face.  
  
"They have come here for more reasons than one have thought so Alucard. They have quite a story to tell, to be short. I expect you in my office in a few minutes.Walter, please handcuff Mis Heinkel and Miss Yumiko to their chairs....make it hands and feet for Miss Heinkel."  
  
"Bitch." Heinkel whispered.  
  
Alucard's head jerked up sharply and was about to lift his gun to Heinkel before Integral slapped his hand away.  
  
"There is no need for that.Just come quickly.....and YOU!" She said, pointing at the silent priest." If you dare to attack us while we interrogate your comrades we will be forced to take measures which including eliminating all three of you at Alucard's hand." She turned around, and walked back up the stairs, Walter, Heinkel and Yumiko following shortly behind.  
  
Alucard grunted, and began to walk out of the room.  
  
"You were lucky again this time priest. Come....Victoria."He said her name slowly, and swept out of the room into thin air."I will be watching you...both of you." His vice came distant away, finally fading seconds later.  
  
"Do not betray me police girl."  
  
Seras kept her gaze on Anderson's body,still on the floor, as she backed out of the room, the Jackel still in her hand.  
  
"I won't Master."  
  
"You still haven't said yes."  
  
"That's because I never will."  
  
"Never say never child.....you will succumb to me, and all I have to offer. If you do not say yes....I will kill you."  
  
She ran like she had never ran before since that night she fled to the church, the night that ended her existance...and brought her into a game which she knew she could not win.  
  
Humanity.....Vampirism.  
  
She could not choose.Follow her Master, Vampirism. Follow the Madman, Humanity.  
  
She knew it would end soon.  
  
She knew he would persist.  
  
She knew she would have to kill one of them in the end.  
  
  
  
Author's note:Part of this chapter has been inspired by Docky's awesome fic "The Sacred and the Profane", and I borrowed a bit of info from it.(Mary Lucifer, Mary Magdalene,ie).No, this is not going to be romance. I simply liked the idea of a crazy deranged priest trying to save a pretty vampire/human girl's soul.:D  
This will still be focused on Heinkel's,Yumiko's and Anderson's revenge on Iscariot...just needs a little rivalary and spice IMHO.  
Special thanks to BP, Docky, Rachel and Serena!  
Thank you so much!  
Thanks to Smartlaine on the Hell's Gate forums for just being her.  
And last but not least, Teleute, the person who knows EVERYTHING. 


	9. Integral makes a offerAnderson can get u...

"And so we started takin our own measures into our hands...and I think you know the rest. Are you satisfied?"  
  
Despite being trained from the age of three that it was proper to cross your legs when sitting, to walk without a slouch, to chew slowly at dinner and not breathe into people's faces, Abraham Hellsing would be rolling around in his grave at the speed of light if he saw Integral's gaping face at the frank faces of the two women before her.  
  
Luikily, such moments tend to pass quickly. As the astonishment shrank back into the shadows from which it had freed itself and the same look of impassiveness spread throughout her face. Integral narrowed her eyes and leaned forward, her voice cold and soft.  
  
"In the expanse of one week, you killed three men, killed an entire pack of wolves, wrecked two cars AND stopped a drug ring, saved children and saved a innocent woman from being raped?!"  
  
"Three days." Heinkel corrected with a wry smirk plastered on her face.  
  
Integral slowly shook her head, sinking backwards into her chair with slow grace. "Amazing...bloody amazing." she murmured. Looking up, she motioned to Walter, who stepped forward with a key in hand.  
  
"If I release you from the bondage of your handcuffs, will you listen to the proposition I have to make?"  
  
"Maybe....." Heinkel taunted "If your pet gives us back our weapons."  
  
"Quite unlikely." Integral said coolly."After all, how do we know that you won't simply turn on us once you are released with your weapons in hand?"  
  
"The Devil encourages dishonesty, and we are holy and abhor his philosophy.We shall hold true to our word...as long you don't break yours." Heinkel nudged Yumiko with her elbow. "Ain't I right Takagi?"  
  
The nun nodded quickly, a flush of eagerness flashing across her face. Integral sighed, and nodded to Walter.  
  
"You may release them."  
  
As soon as the cuffs came off, Alucard tossed the weapons from his side of the room to the nuns. Heinkel looked like she was about to kiss the barrels and Yumiko.....Yumiko just smiled and stroked the katana lovingly like a child would do to a large,shaggy dog.  
  
Integral suddenly whipped out her pistol, and the two women started in surprise as she lifted it. Heinkel's face, which was so happy seconds before, twisted into a look of digust.  
  
"Seems one is not holding to her promises."  
  
Integral rolled her eyes, and placed the gun next to the piece of paper she had been taking notes on every so often during their confession. Heinkel raised an eyebrow, and glanced at the pistol.  
  
"Is this a sort of test, Miss Hellsing? Overextent of symbolism? Or simply inviting me to shoot your brains out so I may be ripped apart by your dog?"  
  
"None and somewhat all the same Miss Wolfe. If you may remember correctly, I spoke of a proposition that I am sure you will find ........winning to your tastes." She sat back down, and crossed her legs under the table."As the leader of Hellsing and you as the top agents of Iscariot, I extend our forces to you."  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
"Sit down Walter!"  
  
"Master....you can not be serious to these Catholic demons! They are worthless mortals who mean nothing to us."  
  
"I am serious Alucard...now make like Walter AND SIT!" She took a deep breath, and turned her gaze again to the women. "For some time now,we have tried to lead a attack on the Iscariot Institution to no avail. As their rivals, we need to rule out the weaker competition and more especially, Enrico Maxwell."She paused, and thrust the paper and  
gun forward.  
  
"I offer you our services if you comply with our demands and side with us for the time being.If you suceed in overruling Enrico Maxwell, Iscariot as we know it will fall into your hands, making you the leaders."  
  
Heinkel leaned forward, her eyes wide.  
  
"We.....Leaders...of Iscariot?"  
  
Integral nodded with a slight smile. "Yes....for now we will break the peace pact between the two organizations....if there is no pact, there is no consequences for us to fall upon.That is....if you side with us." She motioned at the gun and paper.  
  
"Well...Wolfe Heinkel and Takagi Yumiko....what will it be? The paper that insures your victory...or the gun, once again making us bitter enemies from now and beyond?"  
  
Heinkel turned her head, and stared at Yumiko. The nun was appealing to her silently, begging her to make the right decision.  
  
"Where's Alexander?"  
  
"The priest is still in Miss Victoria's quarters.....if you will Seras, could you drag the good Father up here? He is part of this after all."  
  
Seras winced, and slowly got up. Dragging her steps, she made her way to the downstairs quarters. She felt the Jackel strapped to her belt, glad her master had not asked for it back.  
  
Heinkel stared after the girl, and turned around to steadily gaze at Integral.  
  
"If he approves this Miss Hellsing, I will sign. But if he doesn't..."  
  
"The gun?"  
  
"Mine or yours, what do you prefer?"  
------------------------  
  
She was apprehensive as she approached her room. It was slightly ironic, how her once place of mental sanctuary now was tainted by one of the men she hated above all vampires and monsters in the world.Was he still on the floor, or waiting by the door to slash at her ankles with a sword? Was he leaning against the wall like her master did so often when he expected her, or was he already gone? Was he sleeping on her bed, or rummaging through her things? What was he doing, and what did she expect to see.....  
  
Poking her head in, she looked.  
  
Yep.  
  
Still on the floor.  
  
"SO! You came back for me you little cowardly wretch!"  
  
She ingored his acidic greeting, and stood next to his immobile body, refusing to look at his face.  
  
"Miss wants you in her office." She said shortly.  
  
"Really?" He said brilliantly.  
  
She nodded. "Really." She said just as brilliantly.  
  
"Well child, as you may see, I can not stand on my own due to your beloved Master's destruction upon my leg.....or my stump as it is now."  
  
"You shouldn't have attacked me and him then." She muttered."Maybe you should...should...."  
  
"What child? I'm listening like I always do in confession. I'm listening to your pitiful suggestions.Do you still think I will leave you alone after what I said to your terrified face? A gullible child you are if you think that....I will never leave you alone....not until you give yourself to Him and to me to cleanse of his filthy mark."  
  
"Do you want to get up or not?!" she snapped with unusual impatience."Or do you like the cold floor and wish to stay on it?"  
  
"Oh little girl! You doubt me so much it pains me. Do you forget that I am the same man who still walked without arms with a sword between my teeth...and I would have stabbed your master if he had only aimed to the right a little more. But never the less...."  
  
He sighed, and closed his eyes. Straining, he placed his palms flat on the floor and pushed himself up.She backed away catiously as he leapt to one foot in a bound. Smiling sardoniclly, he hopped over to her. He patted her hair and grabbed her chin, shaking her head side to side. With a growl, she bit at his hand and he jerked away. His look of dark amusement faded away quickly as he stared into her eyes.  
  
"Such a fiery spirit and a sweet face you have.......it makes me wish I wasn't a priest at times.......but those are only the times when I truly know that the demands of God are so much more fufilling and beautiful than a naive, filthy little vampiress."  
  
He pushed past her, and hopped up the stairs like a deranged bunny rabbit. Standing frozen in the middle of her room, she felt her hands grow into fists, and she gritted her teeth against the stinging tears in her eyes.  
  
"I AM NOT GOING TO FOLLOW YOU!" She hoarsely screeched after him.  
  
"GOOD! Then I can kill you both with any grief nor scruple within my heart ! There is a God vampiress, and I will take care to tend to his demands of your blood and his spilled upon that cold floor!"   
  
"Try to kill me and my Master will rip your throat out!"  
  
"That will be a lovelier fate if I fail to bring you to my side and you back to your deserved humanity!"  
  
She heard the door at the top of the stairs slam shut, and collapsed to the floor in a torrent of tears.  
  
"Stupid...ugly....smelly...priest.." she choked through her bloody tears. She sniffed, and began to taste the blood seeping into her mouth. Crying harder, she licked them away quickly with her long tongue as they ran down her cheeks.  
  
"So....damn...bloody...tasty..." 


	10. Tea, Deals and Tight Pants

Seras got up off the floor, wiping her the remnants of her tears away with the back of her white glove. Wishing for mirror that would actually show her reflection, she peeled off both of the gloves and threw them under her bed, and collapsed onto her back on the coverlet.  
  
"He isn't going to see me cry." she muttered under her breath as she turned onto her side. "So what if he says he can make me human again? I would have nothing then......no powers, no Master.....no Master.....no..Master." Closing her eyes, she smiled slightly.  
  
"But then again, there would be cake and ice cream and fruit and soda and I can go out in the summer's day without smearing a gallon of sunscreen on.....but on the other hand, I would have no Master...and what if he kills me? If I become mortal he can kill me...well as a vampire he can still kill me but not so easily....blah, too many bloody thoughts in my head."  
  
She fumbled for a magazine to keep her mind focused on, and groaned as she saw the secret bookmark she had placed on her favorite pages gone.She blushed at the the romantic story's ("We made love and the world  
moved....right into the ocean!) facing picture of a blonde haired maiden clasped in the arms of a bronze skinned pirate staring adoringly into his paramour's face.  
  
"He was looking through my maggys!" Seras cried, and tossed it to the other side of the room. She crossed her arms across her chest and leaned back into the pillow with a sour look on her face.Despite her attempts to completly erase it from her mind, she let out a snort of laughter at the image of Anderson with a pirate's regalia consisting of tight purple pants and a unbuttoned shirt and her in a scant clingy dress tied to the mast of the ship screaming her head off while the priest danced around on the ship singing about big breasted mermaids and drinking warm ale and the gentle rapes of snow white virgins and their horrible lives they had to lead like all those cheesy romance novels that were her secret joy.  
  
Seras laughed louder and louder until the hallway rung with the bell like quality of her laugh.Pausing to catch her breath, she shrugged to herself.  
  
"They do say laughter keeps the demons away.....but really...that idiot dressed in a pirate suit...HAH!"  
----------------------------  
  
Integral narrowed her eyes and widened her bitter grin as the priest hopped into the room. Alucard raised an eyebrow, and snickered softly as Walter coughed to cover up a chuckle. It wasn't the fact that the priest was helpless in this current state; rather it was the pogostick like motion of his walk that amused them all the more.   
  
"Did you want me Hellsing?" Alexander snapped, sending a cursory glare at the men nestled into their padded chairs with innocent smiles on their faces.  
  
"That I did. It seems that your women-"  
  
"HIS women!?" Heinkel growled.  
  
"I'm sorry miss...THE women wish to not cooperate with us until they have your full approval of our agreement."  
  
"Agreement?" he asked, glancing at Heinkel and Yumiko. "What agreement?"  
  
"Oh, nothing much. Just your help in killing Enrico Maxwell, taking over Iscariot, your not trying to kill us at every chance you recieve-" she counted the plans on her fingers, ignoring the priest's aghast face.  
  
"What!? I do not wish to work with Protestant swine, I do not wish to help Protestant swine.I do not wish to be even touched by a Protestant swine, especially the likes of a Hellsing! So take that paper and shove it up your arse, Protestant wench!"  
  
"YEA!" Heinkel shouted, and lifted her gun up. Suddenly, Alucard leapt from his seat and grabbed Heinkel's hand roughly, slamming his body weight into her. They collapsed onto the floor, kicking and hitting, attempting to wrestle each other's guns out of their hands.Yumiko screamed, and ran to a corner of a room while Walter still sat, confused by either joining in the fight or comforting the nun as to not trigger her other side to come out and kill all of them.  
  
"See what you have done!?" Integral growled at Anderson, who snarled and leapt across the desk at her. The women stepped away lightly, and whipped her pistol up.  
  
"If you do not want the nun and priestess killed, you must help us! If there is anything you want, we shall comply with it! Listen to me Anderson....Iscariot and whatever you want is in your hands, and well as your victory over the man you trusted and who turned on you. He isn't any better than us" she said loudly to overcome the noise"and we shall do whatever you think is best. Name it, and I shall seek whatever means to get it."  
  
Anderson froze,and the snarl melted into a smirk.  
  
"Anything?" he said softly.  
  
Integral nodded quickly, keeping the gun level and aimed.  
  
"Anything."  
  
"The girl."  
  
"The what?"  
  
"I want the police girl Sir Hellsing. If you turn her over to me and let me be around her twenty four seven, I will help you."  
  
"You simply can't be serious." Integral said "Alucard is her Master and she belongs to him, not me."  
  
"But he belongs to you!" he urged."He will do whatever you say, and all you have to do is say the word and she shall be mine for the short time we stay here!"  
  
"And what, may I ask, are you going to do to the poor girl? Use her in a virgin sacrifice....or something more?"  
  
"Not one hair upon her head shall be touched, and I do not want her body....there is too much for me to do and too many demands of Him to submit to what a body offers. I wish to simply show her what it would be like if she followed me and let me speak to her with His words.Nothing more, nothing less.....do you agree with my terms?"  
  
Integral stood quietly for a second, and nodded reluctantly.  
  
"SILENCE!!!!"  
  
Heinkel, dirty and bloodied, looked up from her hands that were strangling Alucard and stared at the priest. Yumiko wiped away her tears and straightened up.  
  
"I have agreed to the pact between the three Iscariot aganets and the organization Hellsing. There will be no more  
fighting, nor will there be any blood shedding!' He turned around, and quickly signed the paper. When he finished, he twisted around to offer the pen to Heinkel.  
  
"But.....but...."  
  
"Heinkel, do I have to repeat myself?" he said coldly.  
  
The priestess stumbled up, and swayed over to the desk, leaning against it heavily as her bloodied hand grasped the pen from his hand and clumsily wrote her name.Yumiko followed by Walter, then Integral. Alucard stood back, his hands clenched into fists at his sides with a slightly curled lip.  
  
"This is highly unlike you Master."  
  
"It is the necessary means to sucess Alucard. You must come along these once or twice on your life."  
  
"I refuse to sign, and do not even try to make me. I wish not to touch a pen touched with her blood." he pointed at Heinkel, and smiled. "Thought it was very sweet, it had a very metallic aftertaste..of course blood is slightly metallic, but yours was loaded with the bitter taste of it. I suggest more cream in your coffee, richens the blood it does...and try to make it thicker, the thiness of it nearly made me gag."  
  
Integral frowned, and waved her hand at the people cluttered around her desk.  
  
"You are all dismissed from this office for now. Anderson, if you wish to stay you can. I must talk to Alucard about your bargain, and I might need your reasoning...if you have any."  
  
The priest smiled gleefully at the snarling vampire, not even noticing the subtle insult Integral had just given him.He crossed his leg over his stump, and rubbed his palms together in delight.  
  
She was going to be his.His and hers brought together as one, spice and tears joining to form the very essence of worship.  
He had only the time, Bible and swords on his side. All three he would teach her to fear greatly without reserve and admire....like he would eventually make her feel toward him.  
--------------------  
  
Heinkel limped away as Yumiko clasped her hands together and watched in strained concern for her friend.Shaking her head, Yumiko walked down the halls of the mansion, pausing every so once ina while to admire a small painting or statue resting on a end table.  
  
"Very pretty are they not?"  
  
She jumped, and smiled weakly at Walter.  
  
"Very much so sir."  
  
The butler nodded and leaned forward to dust at a random figure,Yumiko silently watching him.  
  
"Do you think that this will all work out sir?"  
  
Walter paused, and contemplated her meek question. He shrugged, and reached up to dust a corner of a landscape painting.  
  
"Maybe so. I place my trust in Sir Hellsing, Alucard as well. Your comrades, however, seem not as eager...well, that priest does show a quam at least. Your friend seems very particular about who she trusts."  
  
Yumiko nodded slightly, and drew her hair away from her face.  
  
"Heinkel never really trusted everyone. She believes in those silly sayings...what is it......"Live fast, die young-"  
  
"And leave a good looking corpse." Walter finished slyly.  
  
The nun giggled and nodded again, eagerly this time.  
  
"That's the one! She lives by that I'm afraid. I am always worried she is going to get in a bit of trouble way over her head."  
  
"She would fit very well with Alucard if he was mortal."  
  
"They certainly are arrogant in their work and outlook.I can only hope that one day, they will truly find out that mere chivalry is the answer.What day that is, I do not know."  
  
"The day that they do get in something way over their heads. Miss Yumiko, if you wish, I could make you some tea?"  
  
"Oh no no no sir! You are already doing something else.If anything, let me make the tea and we can continue our chat, and maybe I can help around the mansion as well."  
  
"It is not normally my way to let a lady do labour, but if you wish to, I want lemon with my cup. The samovar is the in left cabinet, on the far right of the kitchen."  
  
"I shall be back in a second or two sir."  
  
"Walter Miss Takagi....call me Walter."  
--------------  
  
She walked along beside him as he dusted along the many winding halls. Holding both cups, she would hand his to him whenever he wish, sving him the trouble he so often had balancing it equally with the duster.  
  
"How long have you been with Hellsing?" she asked, desperate for small talk.  
  
"Oh I have been here so long I can not even remember how many years have passed!" he exclaimed."But I came here at the age of fourteen, due to my extreme talent with handling the wires. Hellsing then was short of officers and I happened to be a good friend of Sir Hellsing.I fought alongside Alucard in the second world war, leading to victory in Endgland against ther germans. I have been here ever since, and have taken care of Sir Inetgral Hellsing since birth."  
  
Her eyes widened in disbelief and slight awe.  
  
"That's amazing! Only fourteen and fighting in war!"  
  
"I was fortunate. There were many good lads younger than I was who didn't make it,and deserved to.....and yourself?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"How long have you been with the Iscariot Organization?"  
  
"Not as grand as yours I'm afraid" she said with a smile "Fifteen years. I was raised in orphanage, but the caretakers soon found out about my spilt personality.They wanted to kill me because of the possible danger I represented to society but Father Percy, God bless, of the Iscariot organization took me in and gave me to Father Anderson at the age of five.There, I recieved my training and expertise of swords and weaponry from him, as well my inspiration to become a nun. I was introduced to Heinkel at ten and we've been inseparable ever since. Like me, Heinkel was a 'special' child who had a possible future, just not with normal people.I haven't started working professionally until I was fifteen. By then, Father Percy had died and Father Maxwell had take over." She shrugged. "That's about it."  
  
"Quite a story....tell me, how exactly is this other side of you released?"  
  
"Oh dear!" she reddened, and bit her lip. "It's....it's....a secret I wish to keep." She looked up shyly at him. "Do you mind?"  
  
"Not at all." he said gently, and sipped his tea.  
  
Letting out a sigh of relief, she still hurried alongside him.  
  
"You really should take a break...it's not like the dust is going to gather all together and dance on the head of Sir Hellsing while she smokes her cigar."  
  
"It's nothing at all. Rather, it's something to do besides sitting around." He looked up and down the hall, and leaned in closer. "Plus, it helps me avoid the whole nutty lot."  
  
Yumiko let out a laugh, and took the duster away.  
  
"If that is the case, then I shall do some dusting too!"  
  
Walter shook his head as he watched the nun skip around fluttering the feathers of the duster, raising more and more mites.  
  
"Crazy Catholics." 


	11. Whipped Psycho His

Disclaimer:Hellsing does not belong to me.Special thanks once again to Serena, Docky, Rachel and BlackPanther.  
Couldn't have done it without you all.  
Warning:Lots and lot of dialouge except at the end of act one.  
  
"What is this about Master?"  
  
"Alucard....you may want to sit down. I feel that this shall become a quite long and tedious conversation once you find out what I have to tell."  
  
"Oh? If you don't mind, I prefer standing on the ceiling....it brings blood to my head and may help me clarify this meaningless waste of time with the smelly mongrel below me."  
  
"ANDERSON! Sit down and put away those knives before I shoot your other leg off!"  
  
".....fine."  
  
"Good....now Alucard....there are times in a man's life when he must 'share'-"  
  
"Did I say I wanted to share her? I wanted complete control and thought you understood that very clearly!"  
  
"'Her' Master?"  
  
"Father, do not ever interrupt me again. Alucard. Her.....means Seras Victoria."  
  
"What are you saying Master? It better not be what I think you're saying because if it is....I do not know what I shall do."  
  
"Is that threat?"  
  
"Anderson..."  
  
"Maybe it is you unshaven ragged mutt."  
  
"Alucard, please."  
  
"Please what?"  
  
"Please be quiet and LISTEN! I am afraid to say, due to the current circumstances, I have bargained with Father Alexander Anderson a gift of which I know you will not entirely approve of Alucard.....a gift that includes something you rather hold close to you."  
  
"....you're kidding."  
  
"Alexander?"  
  
"Finally, I can get some of my words in. You see Nosterafu, I know that for the past 500 years you have been nothing but a damned, pathetic, corrupt soul with a succubus's personality and Satan's face."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"But the little girl, however, is pure and not as weak to your darkness as you may think. You shield her from the holy light, afraid that once she steps out into it, your weaknesses will be revealed for her eyes to see. I have seen it many times with other vampires and their subordinates, and their 'children' always succumbed despite their clinging to humanity. I wasn't sorry for them, oh no, but this girl has held out longer than any other I have ever seen. For two weeks is all I ask for total control of her."  
  
"How about this Judas Priest...No."  
  
"Alucard...."  
  
"Your master promised it to me, you monster.I expect my full payment, starting now. If not, then I shall depart leaving you, the girl, the butler and your Master laying in puddles of blood with His blessed silver through each and every one of your throats......and don't start to believe you can stop me. If you do not die, then you must suffer the burden of your Master's death...after all, she isn't a filthy vampire such as yourself. Your little girl, if she does not die as well, will be lost. Torn apart after you leave this world by mobs, by others who see all undead as mere targets to practice shooting on....now tell me....do you want that?"  
  
"You Vatican son of a bitch. None of what you speak is true because you are full of the Devil's steaming shit straight from his slimy lavatory. My Master would never do such a drastic, risky measure just to insure victory over her rivals....am I not correct Master....or what he speaks is true and leave me false?"  
  
"He is correct Alucard. I'm sad to say this but......Alucard, Vampire servant of the Hellsing Organization, you have officially been suspended for the duration of two weeks time in the department for the caretaking and control of Miss Seras Victoria. I, Sir IntegralWingates Hellsing, grant Alexander Anderson Miss Victoria's new 'Master' during the suspension."  
  
"Master....."  
  
"Silence. I am not finished. If you tamper in Anderson's or Miss Victoria's private activites, I will be forced to prolong the suspension. If you harm Miss Victoria or Anderson, I will be forced to commit you back into your former bondage.Do you understand?"  
  
"...Yes....My Master."  
  
"It is agreed. Father Anderson.....you may commence your leadership starting now by telling Miss Victoria. Alucard,if you have any duties to attend to, you may brush them off. There will be five medical bags for you tonight instead of the usual three....a rare comfort I hope you will enjoy while the time lasts."  
  
"Thank you Sir Hellsing. May God be with you and possibly this shall be the start of a beautiful temporary peace between us."  
  
"One can only hope Father..."   
  
Integral turned to the painting on the wall, and felt herself give a huge sigh.  
  
"One can only hope."  
-------------------  
  
Walter and Yumiko silently watched as the priest hopped down the hall past them with a large, undying smile on his face. The joy in his eyes and the light of his one step infered them to what had occured behind the locked doors. They had been listening for the past few minutes, using a teacup to place against the door and lean their ears to as they listened in. The priest did not even stop to scold them about God's wrath toward those who listened in when not needed, instead walking past as if they were just pieces of dusty furniture.  
  
"He's certainly happy, he just walked right past us."  
  
"I can see that. I wonder how that poor girl is going to take this,and what he's going to do to her."  
  
"Surely he won't go too far as to force her to relent to him?"  
  
"It is possible.....priests are quite pushy from what I hear."  
  
"Especially the ones who kill ghouls and play catch with the children one minute and the next is running after some filthy offender of God."  
  
"He takes care of children?!"  
  
"Yes, you didn't know that?"  
  
"He...takes....care...of....children."  
  
"I do not see why you are so shocked. After all, he is a priest."  
  
"My God, what is this world coming to....no what are you Catholics coming too?!"  
  
"Whatever do you mean?"  
  
"Nothing..." he said briskly. "REALLY crazy Catholics." He mumbled.  
--------------------------  
  
.....Do you wish to become human?  
  
Do you wish to stay as you are?  
  
Do you wish to alk unmarked into sun's unpitying rays that offer you pleasure and take away fear of night?  
  
Do you wish to know your father would be so proud of you, knowing your sacrifices to become what you are.  
  
Did you truly wish that night was different?  
  
That you were not drawn to that church,that your comrades had not fallen and yet instead could have held out for the very least, a few more minutes?  
  
Do you wish you let yourself die instead of becoming this?  
  
Do you wish you had at least done something...fighting back, anything that would inflict some damamge to the vampire priest?  
  
Did you see his red coat and know that he was your doom and saviour?  
  
Did you see his fangs and tremble in fear or admiration?  
  
Did you see his gun and feel relief or the burden of realization?  
  
What did you expect?  
  
What did you find?  
  
What did you learn?  
  
What have you known?  
  
What can you do?  
  
Nothing.  
--------------------------  
  
Seras opened her eyes and sat up on her bed to the sound of knocking.  
  
"Master?" she groggily murmured. Blinking several times, she yawned and stretched. "Is that you?"  
  
"Yes.....it's Master."  
  
She stumbled up out of her bed, and loosened the stiffness that had settled in her cold joints with a inhumanl impossible stretch. Letting out another yawn, she went to the door, talking all the while.  
  
"I had the strangest dream Master...I was in a dark and empty room with a red floor , and I kept hearing that idiot priest's voice in my head." She smiled and turned the lock. "What do you think it means?"   
  
Opening the door, she satred up into the priest's soured face with a look of groggy unrealization.  
  
"Master, where's your hat?"  
  
"Child, I suggest rubbing the sand out of your eyes and THEN asking me that question."  
  
Seras froze, and stepped back.  
  
"No...no no no no no."  
  
"Oh, but yes yes yes yes. The agreements have been made child. For the next two weeks, you are mine and mine alone .No one or no thing, including your former master, can take you away from me." He stepped into the room, stooping to get under the doorframe. Standing in the middle of her room, he looked around.  
  
"You will tell me everything you do,everything you say, everything you feel while I accustom you to a better life where He will perhaps take mercy on your tainted soul.I will hold up my ends by not touching or forcing you to do anything I ask of you. By then, you'll follow me and not be afraid. Two weeks, mea puella."  
  
"Two weeks is nothing." Seras retorted bitterly.  
  
"Ah! I could have asked for more time, but I do not like to take chances in overextending what we shall share.Two weeks is all it will take for everything to fall to plan. Can you imagine" he lowered his voice in hushed excitement "the prospects of what are ahead? The undead shall fall, Iscariot in my palm and you....well.....we mustn't go too far ahead shall we?"  
  
He glanced over to the side of her room at the thrown magazine and his smile widened.  
  
"So you found out I peeked. Such excellent detective skills you have.....especially as a vampire.It bemuses me how women your age can actually read that drivel with such pursuit."  
  
Seras flushed, and quickly went to grab the magazine.  
  
"Never touch them again with your bloody filthy hands!" she spat into his face like a hissing cat.  
  
"It is so very unrealistic" he continued clamly "to believe that a knight or pirate will simply come with a well oiled chest and on a grand steed to take you away to enjoy wanton nights of love making in over flowerly euphenisms. I expected more out of your reading materials child...I suggest you begin to read the Bible over and over and learn the doctrine to appease me."  
  
"I will never appease you, I will never want you, and I will never follow you. Now get out before I call my real Master!"  
  
The priest threw back his head, letting out howl after howl of laughter at the girl's demands.  
  
"You are such a gullible one aren't you? Your mistress of master ordered him to not come near you or me nor take part in our private activities. You might as well give up on ever thinking he truly cares about you."  
  
Seras froze, and gritted her teeth.  
  
"He does care."she hissed. "Once your two weeks are up, I'll show you what it's truly like between us. Master and I care for each other, while between you and I there is nothing but my utter hatred for everything you represent and everything that you do." Drawing herself up proudly, she gave him a crooked smile, thrusting the magazine into his hands.  
  
"You might as well read this. Try reading that one you were looking at and come back when you've stopped acting like a fool."  
  
He raised a eyebrow, and stared down at the magazine. Flipping through it quickly, he sat down on her bed, despite her groan of sealed outrage.  
  
"And he lifted me up into his muscled oiled arms," he said mockingly "and kissed my lips with a kiss that burned with the fires of our passionate hearts....really child you expect me to read this dreck?! Nothing but sin and more sin!"  
  
"How is it sinning?" she snapped. "They're only kissing!"  
  
"He has his shirt off," the priest tapped the picture "and look at that dress! She looks like any harlot on the corner! And it's so innocent at first, just a little kiss. But the next thing you know, you'll wake up and God will frown down on thee for sexual relations outside of marrying."  
  
"Still,they're only kissing."  
  
"My Deus, they are having sex with their tongues! Oral sex, nothing but filthy sin!"  
  
"I can't believe this....THEY ARE KISSING."  
  
"Still, oral sex. Any touching of mouth to another human's intimate places is oral sex, and the lips are very intimate. This young lady however, has lips so thick she looks like a bloated frog!"  
  
Seras leaped up, and grabbed the magazine from his hands. She tore it in half and stomped on it to nothing, nothing but dirty pages with barely legible words.Looking up and panting, she felt herself clench inside as he smiled slyly with his arms crossed.  
  
"Step one completed. Onto step two." He hopped up, and made his way to the door.  
  
"Goodnight Miss Seras Victoria.Look forward to a long hard day of training.....and maybe you'll get to rip more of your pocessions up."  
  
He barely ducked in time to avoid the heavy glass paperweight that crashed behind him. He smirked, and turned on his heel and marched up the stairs.  
  
Seras kicked her four poster coffin, ignoring the numbness that substituted pain spreading throughout her foot.   
  
"Wanker." she muttered. Plopping down into her coffin, she was about to bring the lid down when it hit her. Was it a revalation, a epiphany or what, she didn't know. But she realized she must have been blind to not realize her capabilities that she had just right for her fingers to grasp on the black and white chessboard.  
  
"For once Pip Bernadotte, you're going to come in handy." she whispered as she brought the coffin lid down. 


	12. The Almighty Pip!

Dance dance dance leap dance dance dance move right quick dance dance leap left arupt halt turn dance dance dance move back back back leap and dive and get the hell outta the way.  
  
Seras grunted as she repeated those steps in her head as she danced with her partner. The heavy Halcannon was light in her hand as she danced and shot at her partner, destroying many trees in the process. Her partner threw blades and seemed to have stolen her routine, for he always was on her, and again and again slashed out at her feet and dancing form.  
  
Back back back....wait. Dance to the right and lift.  
  
"And the contrary is in thee from other women in thy whoredoms, where as none follweth thee to commit whoredoms: and in that..."  
  
Her partner paused and she felt the blade hit the side of the Halcannon with a clunk. Her cue to dance and to sing like a bird.  
  
" Thou givest a reward and no reward is given unto thee, therefore thou art contrary."  
  
Her partner nodded and backed off, pleased at her quick learning of the passages. She then took her chance and shot at him again, and he leaped out of the way.Casually tossing a few blades at her to heighten her senses, he continued.  
  
"Wherefore, O harlot, hear the word of the Lord: Thus saith the Lord God; Because thy filthiness was poured out and thy nakedness discovered through thy whoredoms with thy lovers, and with all the idols of thy abominations, and by the blood of thy children, which thou didst give unto them;"  
  
A pause. Another cue. She knew it not.  
  
"Um.....Be...Behold...therefore...um..."  
  
A sigh. A stop. A wave of hand.  
  
"Come here."  
  
Seras gritted her teeth, and shook her head.  
  
"No."  
  
"Come here little girl."  
  
"You're only going to hurt and be cruel to me."  
  
"Who is?"  
  
"You are."  
  
"And who am I?"  
  
She glared at him with burning eyes.  
  
"Who am I little girl?"  
  
"My...Master." Seras ground out.  
  
Anderson sighed again, and before she blinked,had her by the collar of her uniform.  
  
"Behold, Therefore I will gather all thy lovers, with whom thou hast taken pleasure, and all THEM that thou hast loved, and with all THEM thou hast had; I will even gather them round against thee, and will discover thy nakedness unto them, that they may see all thy nakedness."  
  
"HOT DAMN! I want to be part of that!"  
  
The priest swirled around, letting go of her collar.   
  
Pip waved cheerfully at the pair as he hung upside down from a charred tree branch.  
  
"Seras! Baby! Miss your old buddy old punching bag pal?!"  
  
"Damnation!" Alexander swore under his breath as he quickly stepped away from the young vampire.  
  
"Hey it's Father Scruffy McDuff!Howya doing Scruffy you old insane bastard?" Pip swung down from the branch, and walked over to Seras, quickly wrapping his arm around her waist. He chucked her chin, and leaned his cheek against hers.  
  
"Ain't trying to steal my girl are ya?"   
  
For once, Seras felt overjoyed at the sarcastic boy's presence. SHe smiled, and wrapped her arms around Pip's neck.  
  
"How's my snuggle poo poo wuzzy fuzzy?" she cooed into his ear.  
  
"Eskimo kiss!" The two rubbed noses, giggling all the while like a pair of high school girls who got their first glimpse into the boy's showeroom.  
  
Anderson, all this time, grimaced at the disgusting over cutesy scene. He hastily tucked his blades away in his coat, glaring at the pair of gigglers. After all that work...and still a foolish child.  
  
"I will be expecting you in your quarters after the meal tonight Miss Victoria." he said coldly. "And may God help you if you're one minute late! And you, young man, should be attending to your duties instead of acting like a lovesick clown....and I hate clowns with a passion, especially ones with hair only fit for a woman."  
  
Seras and Pip ignored him, tickling and giggling. The priest groaned in frustration as he stomped away through the forest, mumbling a string of profanities that would have made Hitler cry.  
  
Seconds later.....  
  
"Okay, he's gone. Now get the hell off me!"  
  
Seras jumped away quickly from the scowling captain, and brushed herself off as if he was covered in dandruff.  
  
"Ech! Pip cooties!"  
  
"Don't sweat it baby....remember, I still get something out of this."  
  
Seras rolled her eyes, and threw her hands up in the air.  
  
"I know I know......two weeks of pretending to be my boyfriend equates you not being ratted on to Sir Hellsing about all the beer and porn you stashed with the military supplies. Yea, I know."  
  
"You're forgetting one weeny little thing babe." he squeezed two fingers together, smiling wickedly.  
  
"Oh? And that would be what?"  
  
"You know what it is."  
  
"It better not be me dressed up in a Cathlic schoolgirl's uniform like you suggested last time."  
  
"Close but no cigar babe. I want you to steal Sir Hellsing's bra."  
  
"....please tell me you're only drunk and need to go jerk off under the stairs."  
  
"The boys are demanding it! They need to see proof that she's really a chick, what can I say? It's not as if it's MY choice that they want to see a woman who's damn good at hiding her gender's bra."  
  
"It's perverse and disgusting."  
  
"You obviously don't know men very well."  
  
"I should know" she shot back "I've been surrounded by dumb males my entire life."  
  
"Like me?"  
  
"Like you."  
  
"I feel so honored." Pip swooned, and fell onto the ground. Seras groaned, and placed a hand over her eyes.  
  
"You are such a idiot."  
  
"Thanky."  
  
"Okay.....but remember, you have to keep your promise."  
  
"Boyfriend for two weeks... gotcha. But what if he comes after me ready to chop my dick off?"  
  
"Why would you ever think that?!"  
  
"YOU didn't see his face when we were Eskimo kissing. If my dick gets chopped off, you have to sew it back and make it work again."  
  
"You're sick."  
  
"Once again, thanky."  
  
Seras shoved him away, and lugged her Halcannon onto her shoulder.  
  
"Hey! HEYYYY where're you going?!'  
  
"To lunch!"  
  
"May I join you and stare into your eyes full of the fake lighting???!!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Well this sucks. " Pip murmured as he stood up, watching the vampiress melt away into the foliage. Looking around, he began to follow the path from which he had taken to the Hellsing manor.  
  
"Jerk off, watch TV, jerk off, watch little more TV, smell panties, jerk off with panties over head, sleep, take a shit, eat sandwich, jerk off...man, good day today."  
  
A sudden crackle next to him snapped him out of his thoughts, and he nervously pulled his gun from it's strap.  
  
"Crazy priest may be attacking at three o'clock..run like hell and ......run some more." He said to himself as he crouched down among the leaves.  
  
The crackling came closer...and closer....Pip aimed, and squeezed.  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
Released.  
  
"YOW! What the fuck?!?"  
  
Pip looked, and smiled.  
  
"Looking up pissed off hottie's dress at three o'clock and one minute...pissed off hottie wants to shove cross into ass at three o'clock and two minutes....operation run like hell."  
-------------------  
Author's notes:  
I know....it's a shortie...but it's late.  
:P  
If Pip is OOC, just say so. I tried to keep him as what I have seen of him... vulgar and loud.  
Special thanks to Docky, BP, Serena, Rachel and all the others! 


	13. Swooning into daises and blood soaked ar...

She was just walking, cigar in hand as she strolled along the grounds.  
  
The sunlight was warm, adding a extra sweetness to the cool of the air. It was times like these that she truly relished the fact that Alucard couldn't come out in the mid of day........stillness such as now was what she craved, so vastly different from the void of nothing called 'office.'  
  
She smiled just slightly.  
  
Office.  
  
Place of sanctuary that doubled as a comfortably boring prison.   
  
Her.  
  
Cold hearted ruthless Protestant bitch who had the care of a vampire and a Angel of Death,now controller of three very valuable, very dangerous pawns.  
  
Integral took another deep puff from her cigar, feeling the sweet smoke curl out her nostrils.  
  
Life was good.....for now.  
  
The nun had admitted what she had needed to know about the structural weaknesses of Iscariot. The place may seem grand on the outside, but it had weak points that were usable to advantage. However, the biggest of all had to be downstairs.  
  
In the depths of Iscariot, there load some 100 barrels of gunpowder, probably left over from the first World War......they were still there, stored in their air and water tight casks, left for whatever emergency there was inflicted on the organization. She stared thoughtfully at the end of her cigar, and took another puff.  
  
One spark from this cigar could possibly equal a explosion large enough to take out whatever troops Iscariot had. The troops often huddled and stayed there until they were released like pit bulls from their leash into the fighting ring. Men would die, this was true, but then again, it would make up for the all the damage they had done to her own. Captain Galice had been a good commander....it was hard to replace him after his untimely death.  
  
She had already called Pip Bernadotte and the Wild Geese into action after miss Victoria's appeal for him. She had been surprised as the little vampiress practiclly begged her to bring the braided captain to their aid, the desperate gleam in her eye pitiful. Integral had tried to insist that with the help of the top three agents of Iscariot would be good enough thank you very much. Besides, didn't she hate that Pip boy? The one with the Eskimo song and the tendency to leave things around and well as steal much, much more valuable items? The one who led a strike because of the lack of beer in the fridge and two hot meals only and no snacks rule she tried to apply?  
  
But in the end she had relented. She had started by instructing Walter to place beer in every possible location where he could find that would appeal to the good captain...lots of it.  
  
She had sent a letter to Maxwell....how surprised he would be, to find out his favorites had come to them only to be captured and helping the ones they hated most! Laughing softly at the imagined expression on his face, she stubbed the ciagr out on a brick and headed back the way she came.How ironic it was, now that for once she had the positive and total controlling upper hand.   
  
It was about time for once.  
  
"Enrico Maxwell, care to join me at the museum?"   
----------------------------  
  
"Have you ever realized the elements of punishment?"  
  
Seras looked up from her magazine, and narrowed her eyes at her frowning new Master.  
  
"Have you ever realized that girls don't like to be watched while their toenails dry?" She wiggled her toes with pieces of cotton stuck between each toe, painted the same red as her lipstick and nails.  
  
He ignored her, and snatched the magazine from her hands.   
  
"And this one is about......a young prince falls in love with his beautiful serving wench,and woos his way into her heart by singing under her window."  
  
Seras lowered her lids dreamily, and smiled. "Isn't that romanatic?"  
  
The priest grunted, and threw the magazine back onto her bed.  
  
"That isn't romance child. That's called 'over-doing it.' Besides, judging from the picture, that young man has to have a large voice to make up for that small nugget."  
  
Seras picked up the magazine, and begin to read again. "You have no concept of romance." she sighed. "None at all."  
She pointed to a passage and thrust it at Anderson.  
  
"Read."  
  
He sighed, and began to read out loud.  
  
"His voice was like the rise of angels into my innocent soul, lifting me into a rapture of doves and white daisys sprung up in the virginity of snow.I swooned a million times, wishing it was into his arms I lay and wish to sleep and die....."  
  
The priest looked up and stared at her quietly.  
  
"See? Now THAT's romance."  
  
".....BWHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA I cannot even believe I even read this! White daisys??!! Doves??? SWOONING????!! What a laugh this is my child. It's funny to watch you slowly kill off every qualm of your intelligence by reading this drivel!"  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"That hurt my child! In fact, I must make amends and heal that little wound by reading this to Sir Hellsing...no, make that to everyone...now let's see if this little nuggest or I have a more powerful voice.....that will make you swoon into a million raptures of daisys." he finished sarcasticlly.  
  
"Don't!"  
  
Already he was runnign down the hill, this time reading from another story. She hopped after him ,trying to not let the cotton between her toes fall out or one of her breasts to fall out of teh tanktop she was wearing.  
  
"And he kissed with the fires of a rejected heart that had been hurt in the past , and I could already feel his hands all over me, on my tender young breasts and my...HAH...MY FLOWER PETALS!"  
  
The priest began to rip pages out, and threw a few to Walter and yumiko who were just trying to get out of the way.  
  
"There! There! Read this old man and maybe you'll gain a few tricks in your seducing of poor miss Takagi! Amen to the Son,the Father and the Holy Ghost if you suceed and amen to her if she can bear a wrinkled body!"  
  
Walter trembled with rage as he crumpled the pages in his hands, and Yumiko patted his hand.  
  
"There there...I know perfectly well what he says is not true....put those wires away!"she scolded as she now slapped his hand.  
  
Anderson pranced along the hallway, and shoved a few at Pip, huddling in his (un)succesful hiding place.  
  
"Here boy...you may use these since she enjoys them so very much." The pirets glared at the red faced Seras, and rip a few in half. "Oh dear...oops. Now you have to tape them together again!"  
  
He threw back and head and laughed.  
  
"HEINKEL! He's over here!"  
  
"Ah shit...."  
  
Anderson barely avoided Heinkel's running form as he speared pages to the walls. He slid some under the door of Sir Hellsing's door,in case she ever needed ideas if she and the vampire were ever alone together. Oh dear oh dear, such a wonderful day and such a wonderful feeling of justiceand such selfish satisfaction!  
  
He turned around, and patted a panting Seras on the head roughly, pulling some of her locks.  
  
"Now you'll think twice before trying to trick me child....I KNOW. I know about your little scheme with that Pip boy...I know everything and will forever know and spy on you until you give yourself to me,or until I die trying to kill Enrico Maxwell.Either way, you will die as well, and be still followed by me after death." he hissed into her face, a strained smile pasted on."Now say it."  
  
"Never." she growled.  
  
"Never what who?"  
  
"Never will I follow you."  
  
"And who am I?"  
  
".....don't even start."  
  
He grabbed a lock of hair and tugged on it sharply, and she winced slightly.   
  
"Who am I?"  
  
"My Master." she whispered.  
  
He smiled and patted her cheek softly.  
  
"Smart girl."  
  
The look of rage was replaced by concern as he stared into her face.  
  
"My child, you scarely eaten! Have you resisted the temptation of blood for so long?  
  
"Y..yes."  
  
His stiff body relaxed, and he whipped off a glove and drew a small dagger out.  
  
"Was it for me is all I ask."  
  
"Yes" she lied.  
  
The concern was replaced by delight, and he drew the dagger across his finger, too excited to even notice how deep it sank in. She winced at the blood, spurting into the air while he babbled on.  
  
"It is just a little bit..you must drink it before it closes in a minute or two.But it's just a little and you have done well so far." He brought the finger to her lips.  
  
"Just a little is all I ask."  
  
"No....no." she backed away.  
  
He frowned, and brought it closer. The tangy smell of it hit her like a hammer, knocking her nearly senseless.So rich....so full of health...so delicious it would be....then she remembered who she was taking it from.  
  
"Drink."  
  
She smacked his hand away, breaking from her trance and she ran down the hall.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"It's closing...." he yelled after her.  
  
"NEVER!"  
  
He was left standing there stunned, and he stared at the quickly closing wound on his finger. Droplets still remained, and he stuck his tongue out to lap them away.  
  
"Hmmm....thought it would be somewhat juicier.....but it is closed...this wound and the Gates of Paradise if she does not relent...but how can one dance her away from Night and bring her back to Day?"  
  
He looked around dully at the destruction he alone had caused, and settled his gaze onto a ripped paper. The picture of the pirate and the big bosomed maiden still taunted him.  
  
Why, by the use of really bad magazines of course! 


	14. If you're going to war, fight with guns,...

Madness is such beautiful state of mind....   
  
It relieves the self from the bitterness of reality, excuses it for an second, an minute, an hour, an eternity. It is to some the prism of the many colors of personality...anger, sadness, happiness is all melded and only show prominently in  
small portions that hardly stifle the cravings of the sanity that demands release. To others, it is Hell in sleepless nights, horrific visions and a mind filled with nothing but frustration caused by the struggle for a simple mind.  
  
Sadly, that is not their case. Their case is much more...complex.  
  
The Father is a whirlwind of morals that can never cross. One side shows the face The Father saves for the ones he calls 'my children', the other is the last face the damned see before their proper execution takes place on the ground they stand. One side of him is the streak of wanting to save and protect the weak and the other is the dseire to watch blood spill onto the ground with perverse delight. The Sister and The Priestess are the same way, though The Priestess does not wish to admit it. Noble and prideful, they must walk with heads high and the walk suggesting of old blood and ancient duty that humbles all who look and watch. The weapons they carry do not suggest nothing out of the ordinary when they hold them in limp hands at their sides......but when raised for battle, create bloodshed rivaling the blood that ran in the streets during the Riots of Ancient Rome. Blessed by God, blessed by The Pope, they are true followers of Him and his holy son, our Lord Jesus Christ.  
---------------  
  
"You stupid bloody beast!"  
  
"Have mercy on me! Ah cain't help if ah shoot at what ah see!"  
  
"Just a few more twirls.....YUMIKO, do you have the fruit ready?"  
  
The nun held up a orange with wicked delight, and lifted one of Heinkel's guns.  
  
"Ready!"  
  
Heinkel grinned, and grabbed the gun from YUMIKO's grip. She pointed it at Pip's head, his eyes going wide in horror, a slow stain seeping from his crotch. He relaxed only slightly when she moved the barrel to the right a few inches.  
  
"Aim...FIRE ONE!"  
  
YUMIKO tossed the orange by Pip's head, and Heinkel whipped her head around to shoot it only inches from his eyes. The juice spurted out, getting into Pip's remaining eye.  
  
"FUCKSHIT! THAT BURNNNNNNSSS!!"  
  
"FIRE TWO!"  
  
YUMIKO tossed a apple low, and Heinkel shot it as it neared Pip's crotch in mid-air.  
  
"How'd you like that Captain Pippy? Too close for comfort?"  
  
"A barely acceptable shot. You must learn to shoot directly in the middle and not near it. Much more kills that way will go down quicker."  
  
Heinkel turned around and frowned at the grinning vampire leaning against the doorframe of the shooting room.YUMIKO growled and pulled her trusty katana out of it's cloth wrappings.  
  
"I thought I locked that door."  
  
"No my lady, I could very simply unlock it with a fingernail. I expected this out of a pair of Catholics, to pick on the weaker opposition."  
  
"Who said ah was weak?"  
  
"Silence boy. You're only disgracing yourself further by attempting to defend yourself....tied upside down by those clumsy feet of yours by nuns.....pitiful."  
  
Heinkel held her head up proudly, and lowered her eyelids in satifaction.  
  
"Don't you have anything better to do...like train that weakling subordinate....wait, correct if I'm wrong, you have not a subordinate anymore! Silly me!"  
  
Alucard's smile grew tighter as he strolled casually over to Heinkel, and took the sunglasses from her face. Red eyes clashed with cool green as they stared into each other's faces, guns by their sides.  
  
"That is correct. But you have no master anymore due to your idiot mistake. It must have been very hard for you, to be dismissed by your own infatuate!"  
  
Heinkel's eyes wavered as she blushed violently. She brought the gun up to the grinning vampire's chin, and pulled back the trigger.  
  
"I have no idea what you are talking about" she said " but you have no right to say such things, you filthy Protestant, rotting has been."  
  
"Liar. You were infatuated with him, weren't you?! You stared into his eye's and felt your heart break as he coldly cast you off into the unknown to fight for yourself without his comfort!" Alucard leaned in closer and closer, and Heinkel gritted her teeth.   
  
"I? Infatuated? You must be joking you disgusting bag of trash. How can I be attracted to that horrible, twitchy eye and those frozen muscles in his jaw and his girlish face without vomiting?! And he's a jerk and you know, I know it, and and and.." Heinkel began to twitch, and Alucard's smile grew wider and easier.  
  
"Little girl losing her touch. Little girl losing her touch." He taunted, keeping a eye on YUMIKO as she crept closer and closer.  
  
"SHUT UP YOU *censored for this rating*!"  
  
Heinkel leapt forward, and shot at Alucard. The vampire danced away, and waved his gun around.  
  
"Finally! A reaction!"  
  
YUMIKO dived at Alucard as he passed her, but only suceeded in slicing the rope holding Pip up in half, sending the captain crashing to the floor.   
  
"FUCKSHIT!"  
  
Alucard shot at Heinkel's shoulder, taking careful consideration to not hit any vital areas...he wanted to play with his prey as long as he could.  
  
"You know what you like to do??!!" Heinkel screeched. "You like to *edited for this rating*! Yes, you *edited for this rating* *edited for this rating* dirty * edited for this rating* who likes to suck *edited for this rating* and *edited for this rating* ASSHOLE!"  
  
"Such a filthy mouth you Catholic's seem to have."  
  
"That's all you got out of that?"  
  
"Well, I'm resisting the urge to laugh."  
  
"You bastard..just for this, I shall release the hound of Hell upon you and let you be torn apart by it's one metal tooth!" She whirled around and pointed at Alucard.  
  
"YUMIKO!"  
  
YUMIKO cackled as she made for Alucard,raising her katana triumphantly.  
  
"HERE I COME!"  
  
Alucard watched, amused, as she ran at him. A sudden pull of the wrist and a dagger flicked out, and he slashed out at the nun when she was only inches away. She fell back, and dove in, only to be blocked again. He slowly inched forward at each confrontation, and finally, put the dagger away. He held out his arms invitingly.  
  
"Come."  
  
YUMIKO stood still for a second, but quickly shrugged off the feeling of doubt and ran at the vampire one last time. Just as the tip of the katana drove into his chest, Alucard brought his palm up, and sent her backwards to Pip. The captain didn't have any weapons, Heinkel had made sure of that when she caught him. So he used the one thing that could possibly inflict serious damage to a leg.  
  
He bit YUMIKO.  
  
"OW!"  
  
"That's what you get when you fuck with me!" He grabbed the katana and shoved it away, and began to wrestle with the raging girl.  
  
Heinkel stamped her foot, and glared at Alucard, shrugging as he still smiled at her.  
  
"Oh, you wanna smile!?" She whipped her gun up, and shot over and over at the vampire's arms. He didn't even wince, just smiled as both of his arms were blew away to nothing.  
  
"....how the hell do you do it?"  
  
Alucard shurgged again, and danced around her, waving his stumps.  
  
"Put up your dukes!" he taunted.  
  
"You have no dukes!"  
  
"Then put away the gun and be fair for once....stay away from my teeth and you can win." he urged softly, convincingly.  
  
Heinkel stared down at her gun in her hand, and looked up to stare at Alucard. She slowly threw the gun to the side of the room, and removed her priest's collar.  
  
"Let's do this."  
  
Pip and YUMIKO stopped by this time, their hands clamped around each other's throats as they watched in bewildered enrapturment as the two deadly hunters circled each other.  
  
"To the death?"  
  
The vampire paused, and furrowed his brows in mock thought.  
  
"To the first blood drawn....to the death will be so messy for poor Walter."  
  
Heinkel nodded, and ran at Alucard. The vampire dived, and slammed her legs out from under her body, kneeing her in the stomach to knock the breath out of her. Heinkel dropped to one knee, but leapt up to send a blow into Alucard's kneecap, and hit him in the stomach.He snapped his teeth viciously at her as she backed away, smacking at the area where his ears were. She soon boxed them, and the vampire winced and smacked her across the face roughly with a slightly longer stump.Heinkel felt the world spin in reds and blacks as she hit the wall, and she fell into a limp pile. He stood over her, his face twisted in a ugly sneer.  
  
He reached down, and roughly jerked her up to her feet by her hair with his teeth. She brought her hand out to smack him, only to numbly feel the favor returned. She was sore, and she had felt a tooth cut the inside of her lip. She kept her mouth closed, praying that the blood wasn't seeping out the corner of her mouth.  
  
"Shape up!" he roared as he kicked her in the leg and smacked her again with a stump." You have barely begun!"  
  
Heinkel clenched her fists, and hit him full on in the face, and shoved him away. She felt her lips, feeling the kiss of his stump.She narrowed her eyes, and screamed as she began to pummel him crazily. From all directions her fists landed, hoping to inflict at least a little damage on his acidic face and sinfully awful body.  
  
Heinkel stopped for breath, sweat running into her eyes. The vampire took this chance to push her against the wall, and closed his teeth over her throat. Heinkel let out a thin, piercing shriek, and sank her hands into his black hair. She tugged fiercely, and he let go of his mouthful with a yelp as he stumbled back. Heinkel moved her hand to her throat, and felt a little trickle there, felt the bruising. Breathing heavily, she glared at the vampire he drew himself back into his usual demeanor.  
  
"I win."  
  
She cursed to herself as he left in a whisper of red, and stumbled to the door. Yumiko( by this time having placed her glasses back on) and Pip stared at her, astonished. She let out another colorful string of profanities, and threw her gun at Pip's head.   
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT???!!"  
  
She whirled away, and stomped out the door, muttering curse word after curse word until she faded in the shadows of the adjoining hallway.  
  
"Is she always like that?"  
  
"Yes....is he always like that?"  
  
"'Fraid so." He pushed her slightly. "Now get off."  
  
He pulled himself up, and shrugged off the last of the ropes.  
  
"Sorry about...strangling you and stuff. To make up for it, ah won't steal any of ya'll's stuff."  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "That's not a very good gift."  
  
"Peace of mind and shit. Take it or leave it."  
  
"I take your offer."  
  
"Good....now if you excuse me, ah have beer to drink and bellybuttons to pick lint out of." 


	15. My Bonnie!

Alexander Anderson's Manuel to Wooing a Lady  
  
Lesson 1:  
A lady loves a seranding admirer who sings songs of love to her lovely face and love and love and more love.  
  
What SHOULD have happened:  
  
He climbed up the deliciously scented rose brier, wrapped in a dark satin cloak of scarlet with a pearly white masqurade mask upon his face, obscuring it from the moon's glow. He peered into her room, as she laid with a light sheet wrapped around her hourglass figure, and his eyes roamed slowly along her curves so sweetly shadowed in the most private and tender of places . Her breathing made her bosom rise up and down, making him tremble with held back delight and a love filled heart overflowing with...love.  
  
Leaping nimbly from the window sill, he made his way quickly to his one and only true love who slept in Morpheus's arms. He stopped by her side, and ran his hand down her smooth cheek in one movement that was both innocent and lustful with mad raging lust from his lions of hotness that came from all the raging lust.Breathing raggedly, he drew her upwards, awakening her from her peaceful slumber. Her bright red eyes snapped open to meet his own, and she moaned in need as he hastily ripped the the million hooked bra that was tight and hard to breath in.Finally, when the million hooked hard as hell to breath in bra was off, he leapt into her bed...fully clothed.  
  
"Aren't you suppose-"  
  
He pressed a finger to her lips, and smiled ruefully...LIKE THAT STUPID GAYASS PIRATE! I SHOWED YOU YOU BASTARD!!!!...Ahem.  
  
"Weeeee must mate like dee weeld dawgs of dee weeld ma cherie. Weeeee must go mad weeth lust and dee passions that arouse een us and make my geeglesteeck eeerrecctt."  
  
She sighed, and groaned as his gently raped her with his mouth and fingers...LIKE THAT OTHER STUPID BASTARD WHO THINKS HE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT! AHAHAHAHHAHAH AT YOU BITCH! I'M HAVING SEX WITH A VAMPIRE AND YOU CAN'T GET ANY WITH YOUR LITTLE NUGGET!...Ahem...once again.Her body twisted this way and that as he went lower and lower to kiss every forbidden corner and shadowed cranny. The feeling of total wanton spread throughout her whole being as she writhed in the sheets, her eyes closed and sweat beading on her forehead. Oh, how delightful it felt to be touched in such a sinfully pleasurable way with rugged hands that roamed all over! How delightful it was indeed! Oh, lovely rapture of flowers that taste of the sweetest necter that flows like the wine of life! Longing, needing and wanting but resisting all the same, she followed downward the path to expectant delirious climax that she had dreamed of. Faithful to hersef, she only let him do what he pleased and not limit him in his quest. Oh rapture! Saints be wwith her as she falls downward into madness that can only last for the while he stays!  
  
But then again.....all good things can't last.  
  
".....you taste funny."  
  
"That's what all the necrophiliacs say."  
  
"I am not a necrophiliac! God forbids copulation with the dead and all who associate with them with the punishment of eternal damnation!"  
  
"Okay, this really turning me off and you're biting my hipbone, leggo of that jerk! Go lower or I'm going to kick you in the back and clamp my legs over your ears....then you really won't be going anywhere."  
  
"....Yes m'am."  
  
The writhing continued, and Alexander Anderson was a very happy if afraid man.  
  
What DID happen:  
  
"....damn."  
  
Alexander Anderson stared down at the basement window of Sera's quarters, and cursed to himself when he noticed that she was wearing a Raider's jersey and sweat pants instead of a lacy corset, and that she has thick heavy cover to make matters worse....  
  
"Nice night."  
  
The priest whirled around to meet Heinkel's blackened eyes. The bright burning end of her cigarette bobbed as she nodded to him. She kept her face serious, struggling to keep the cigarette in her mouth as she observed Anderson's attire for the evening.He turned away, and trained his eyes on the sleeping vampiress.  
  
"Another fight with Nosterafu I see." he said quietly.  
  
"Yep, pretty much. But he went easy on me this time. " She smiled widely, and pointed to her eyes. "I gave him a bloody nose and a busted lip and I all got were these two babies.....and by the way, what's with the red silk slipcover and paper mask?"  
  
Alexander shuddered, and glared over his shoulder at Heinkel, who smiled sweetly with her teeth clamped down on her cigarette.  
  
"I happen to be wooing if you do not mind" he said shortly "and I wish one would leave me alone to do my work."  
  
"And what inspired this dashing slightly stained slipcover cape and notebook paper masked dark knight to come out at 12 pm and stand shivering with his burning love otuside the fair dead lady's window?"  
  
"I am not shivering for one. It is nippy out here and..." he faltered as he noticed Heinkel's sleevless slit up the side priest dress.  
  
"And what?"  
  
"Why are you even out here?"  
  
"I said it when I came out here...nice night. I just happened to see your ungainly shape over here and thought I'd might share a ciggy with you for goodness sake." She leaned forward, and craned her neck to look at Seras. "But I see that you're busy with your wooing....too many romance novels my dear friend....too much....and this wooing is going to take place when?"  
  
  
"When YOU get out of here and leave me be!" he snapped as he pulled a sheet out from a sleeve.  
  
"Gimme." she said as she snatched it away. Ignoring his growl of outrage, she pulled the cig out of her mouth as she scanned the sheet music. Lowering the paper, she stared into the air a few minutes, and slowly turned to stare at the scowling priest.  
  
".....My Bonnie....Lies....Over...The Ocean?"  
  
"I said I didn't want you to see."   
  
"...ANDERSON....MY...BONNIE.....LIES....OVER.....THE....OCEAN....you picked the most trite repitive annoying scottish love song in the history of the world to woo a vampiress who hates and fears you....where the hell is the kilt and bagpipes!?" she nearly screamed as she poked a hole in the paper with the half burning end of the cigarette.  
  
"Hey! Stop that!" he grabbed at the paper as Heinkel ran away, now fully laughing, into the dark night waving the paper in her hand.  
  
"MY BONNIE LIES OVER THE OCEAAAAANNN" Heinkel sang in a heavy Scottish accent "MAH BONNIEEEE LIES OVER DA SAAYYYYYYYYY!"  
  
"What is this all about?"  
  
Anderson whirled around, the slipcover falling off as he stared at the grime eyed Seras, who's eyes widened at the sight of her Master's bright green eyes burning in anger behind the mask.  
  
"And what are YOU doing here?!" she hissed as she unlocked the window's latch, and threw it open.   
  
"I can explain this calmly and-"  
  
Heinkel danced by at that moment, and waved the paper at Seras she laughed merrily in perverse delight.  
  
"Romeo here is trying to woo you Juliet! He's even got the really bad 'exotic' cape and the 'mysterious' mask to top it all off" the priestess said sarcasticlly as she bent down and shoved the paper at the little vamp. "Read and weep kiddo. And be careful of Fabio here, he's going to insist on taking you to adult shop after a nice trip to the erotic arts museum!"  
  
"Heinkel.....going....to...kill....you."  
  
Seras felt hot bile rise in her throat, and let out a piercing scream as she gathered up shoes, cosmetics and hats and began to throw them one by one at the astounded priest.  
  
"Stop! Please! I AM YOUR MASTER! DAMN YOU!"  
  
The vampiress continued her mad tirade, and smacked Anderson across the face with a sandel.  
  
"Go way! Go way!" she hissed "and don't bother me again at night! PERVERT!" she cried , and slammed the window shut.  
  
Yowling in hurt pride, Anderson darted after the insane Heinkel, now dancing and leaping like a deer on the moon  
  
The priestess's laughter pierced the night air as she ran around on the Hellsing lawn, with a great big huge fop tripping over his feet after her cursing wildly as he waved a sharp blade in the air.  
  
"SHUT....UP!"  
  
"SCREW YOU FITLHY PROTESTANT PRUDE!"  
  
Integral snarled as she hurled her dagger letter opener at the insane duo, and stumbled back to her bed. She clamped her pillow like a vise over her ears as she gritted her teeth.  
  
"Iscariot idiots.....forcing their ways in MY life and MY sleep and disturbing it with their bloody stupid matters." she winced as she felt something thrown against the window bounced off, followed by more shouting.  
  
"And I have to meet with the Master of Idiots tomorrow...GOD." She turned onto her back, and pressed the pillow tightly over her face. "They better be civil....' she murmured to herself "Must bring Alucard...straighten them out if things get messy...Maxwell....bloody idiot...putting more idiots in my command....hate Catholics."  
******************** 


	16. We're Above, Rest Below, You're Stuck in...

It wasn't really that great of a museum, she thought , it had the few outstanding pieces and so on but being here before, the effect of the few wore off in no time. Still, it was a place where communications were best face to face and weapon to weapon.  
Anderson insisted on coming along for the ride, and had to drag a whimpering Miss Yumiko and a grumbling Miss Heinkel along with them. The limo ride itself was hot and crowded and just had to be made worse with the fact that they thought about who they were meeting...that and Anderson had to crouch to keep his head from bumping the roof of the back. Miss Victoria complained about having to sit next to her new Master and constantly pulled down her short red skirt from his interested ( and too close for comfort) eyes.  
Integral leaned against the wall, and craned her neck to look at the painting above her. The Madonna's eyes gazed down with some sort of amused patientce, as the Christ child in all his glory had his fingers twined in her dark auburn hair. Her perfect oval of a face glowed as a engimatic smile flitted around her lips, giving Integral the feeling that the woman was still alive, and her eyes were following her as the child cooed his delight at the softness of her curls.  
  
"It is a painting, nothing more."  
  
Integral turned her eyes coolly to Alucard, standing behind her with his eyes still stuck to the painting.  
  
"Reading my thoughts, are you?"  
  
"No.....but I found it interesting that you would say such a thing aloud. Such superstitions that you have, Master."  
  
Integral stiffened, and turned back to the painting.  
  
"Is HE here?"  
  
Alucard smiled, showing his fangs with held back laughter rumbling in his throat. " I am afraid so, and he is with the old man. You may want to call the attention of the three, so that they may give him and he a warm welcome."   
  
"Yes" she said with a yawn "That may be appropriate. I would like to show him how truly loyal his servants are to the Vatican rules."   
  
"100 percent loyal I may guess?"  
  
"Well....more like 96 percent for now."  
--------------------  
  
" What is it with sculpters and always cutting women's arms off?"  
  
Heinkel frowned at the alabaster white statue, and brought her fist up to tap lightly on the woman's flank. Anderson's eyes widened, and quickly grabbed her hand, thrusting it away. Shaking his head, he made a motion toward the nameplate. The priestess leaned forward, scanning her eyes over the dull bronze plate.  
  
"So?"  
  
"It's the Venus de Milo Heinkel, we must pay respects by not tampering with it in any way, including touching it."  
  
"I don't care if it's of Jesus doing a backflip, it's just a stupid statue." she mumbled bitterly as she fumbled in her pockets, finally bringing out a pack of cigarettes. Putting it between her lips, she turned to the priest.  
  
"Light me?"  
  
With a flick of his wrist , instantly the initialed silver lighter was out, and she sucked in deeply as the smoke entered her lungs and out her nose. He shook his head when she offered it to him, placing the lighter into her palm. One after another she smoked, staring mildly around at the surrounding works of art. Just when she was about to light her tenth, he plucked the lighter out her hand and placed it back into his sleeve.  
  
"You're too nervous."  
  
"Am I?" she said absently,glancing at her shaking hands. "Didn't really notice...where's Yumiko and your little girlfriend?"  
  
"Yumiko may be with Sir Hellsing and her pet or that old butler....Miss Victoria however I do not know."  
  
"You fucked up pretty bad last night my friend...I have never seen such a woman who can throw things at such speeds." she teased, a malicious streak evident in her voice.  
  
"I would have had a chance if someone didn't add to the already fucked up situation." he said snidely, snapping his fingers in her face. "Isn't that right, Heinkel, my dearest friend o' mine?"  
  
"You have no chance at all, ignoramus."  
  
Anderson looked up and groaned, rolling his eyes as the vampire floated down from the ceiling to stare him in the face....upside down.  
  
"Don't try to bite me dog. I just came here to alert you of HIS presence."  
  
"So....he came after all." Heinkel murmured. "I knew that he would never turn down the chance to humiliate the Hellsings. Does he know we are here as well?"  
  
"He has no idea that you are even here in London. In fact, he probably still has those search teams out and looking for you in rural Rome." He floated back to the ceiling, and lingered for a second. "I suggest you surprise him, and make quick of it...my Master doesn't like to be kept waiting."  
-------------------------  
  
"Ah, Sir Integral Hellsing...charmed to see you again!" Maxwell grinned widely, his face bright and full of demonic glee. Enrique followed close behind, lugging a briefcase along with his same faithful craggy saint bernard face. Integral squinted her eyes, noting the almost sweet childlike livliness of her rival's face, the smile that flashed two rows of sharp little teeth.  
  
"Enrico Maxwell, I still have not forgotten our last encounter so cut the chitty chatty bullshit and just listen to what I have to say." Integral snapped, her lip lifted in a show of disgusted defiance. She held up several news paper clippings, crushing them with her iron grip as she brandished them in his face. "Do you know what these are? Of course you don't...you can not even read the titles. Here" she threw them in the priest's face "read them, and you'll know your purpose for this meeting so I don't have to talk anymore than I have to."  
  
He waited until Enrique went upon hands and knees to scoop up the clippings, standing rigid while his yellowish green eyes stared into Inetgral's.   
  
"If this is what I think it is..."  
  
"Take a wild guess."  
  
He snatched the papers from Enrique's hands, and his eyes roved over the headlines quickly. With a snarl, he tossed the papers to the floor and pressed his boot heel into each one angerily.  
  
"You bad tempered frigid bitch, what are you telling me?! Have you gotten the advantage of killing them, or are you searching secretly throughout Rome? " He began to laugh, pressing a hand to his chest. "Do you think this is MY fault?"  
  
"Searching secretly...no. I leave that to your men, even though they won't find anything. Killing them...hardly. However it IS all your fault. From what I have managed to coax out of your agents wasn't anything surprising, but still points the finger to the main cause."  
  
He froze, eyes widened in horrific disbelieving. Behind him, Enrique silently reached for the small chunky pistol under his coat, and cocked the trigger.  
  
"You...have...them?" he squeaked.  
  
"Smart boy you are Enrico. You get a toffee. Father Anderson, Sister Yumiko and Heinkel, you may come in now." she called with a slight smile playing around her lips.  
  
A second passed before the trio entered silently, Seras at Anderson's side and Yumiko at Walter's. Maxwell seemed like he was about to cry, and Enrique, noticing his superior's nervous disposition, tugged the pistol out and crossed his arms to hide it's presence. Anderson came to a crisp halt at Integral's side and straightened up, head up high in prideful airs and eyes cold and malevolent. Sadly, this wasn't to be said for the others...Yumiko's lower lip was sucked into her mouth as she bit into it, and Heinkel's head stayed reverantly bowed, a deep splash of red spreading across her face.  
  
"How could you?" Maxwell said slowly. "How could you betray me like this? How can you betray your origins and  
faith like this? Scotland, Ireland and all the Catholic territories will be defiled by your wickedness and purgury, and now....I had such trust in you..all of you." His voice wavered, and his eyes grew teary and bright. Yumiko began to sniffle and whimper softly, and Heinkel just kept her head bowed, the red spreading to her ears now. Anderson was the only one who was barely managing his calm, but Seras just then noticed the presence of his hand closing tightly around her arm..if he hadn't been wearing gloves, she could have seen that his knuckles were white and the faint blue veins suddenly grew all too prominent.  
  
"Betrayal." he said sharply. "Wicked. Filth. Judas's bastard self. Weaklings.Demons. Idiots. Dogs. Worthless nothings."  
  
"That's quite enough Maxwell."  
  
The priest's head jerked up, and narrowed his eyes at Anderson.  
  
"You haven't the right to tell me such a thing, blonde Judas. You are the betrayer, of yourself, of your country, of your faith, of your friends,of your lover" this he spat at Seras, who winced slightly. "I never knew you had a liking for young girls Anderson..especially the dead ones. This reminds me...most of all, betrayer of duty."  
  
*snap*  
  
"Stop it this instant!" Integral yelled as she tried fling herself between the two priest's, but with a roar of frustration, Anderson flung her to one side with a arm while he grabbed a sword with the other. Maxwell only had time to blink before Anderson drove into his smaller competition, knocking him to the floor in a wrestling match. Heinkel looked anxiously at Enrique, who was trying despertly to aim for the right target with trembling hands. The priestess ran forward and knocked the gun to the floor. Walter, not too keen on wanting too much blood shed, slinged out a wire that grabbed the gun's barrel, sliding it to him. The old priest let out a oath, and smacked Heinkel on the side of her head roughly. She fell backwards, shaking her head to clear the fog of pain and glared at the panting old man.  
  
"Out of breath already old man?" she hissed as she placed her sunglasses back on. She stumbled to Walter and Yumiko, and pointed to the butler. "Fuck with us, and you get a bullet in your withered old ass, and I am not fucking joking...I will promptly take this gun, stick it's barrel up your ass and pull the trigger. Got me?"  
  
"Amen."  
  
"Thank you Yumiko."  
  
Meanwhile, Integral was trying to seperate the two priests from their match, careful in not letting herself get into the fray.  
  
"Damn..where's Alucard when you need him?" she muttered to herself. Flicking out a cigar, she lit it quickly, and stuck the burning end of it into one of their backs. All she got was a short girlish shriek of pain that dissolved into a grunt.  
  
"Right behind you."  
  
Integral whirled around to meet Alucard's red eyed gaze, reached out and grabbed his collar so she could bring her face close to hers. She had buggy, bloodshot eyes and her hair hung in them, and she breathed heavily...part anger, part physical exhaustment.  
  
"You take Anderson...I'll take the Master of Idiots."  
  
"As you command."  
  
Alucard circled the match, and with a sudden lightning fast move grabbed Anderson's arm and jerked him back roughly. The priest gave a loud snarl and stabbed Alucard's helping hand with a sword. The vampire grinned wider, and kept his hold firm.  
  
"You Judas Prick" he said softly "that itched."  
  
Anderson turned his head to Maxwell, now being grabbed by his messy ponytail and dragged away by Integral. The priest leaned in close, his face very close to his superiors. Time slowed...and stopped..and he came in closer and closer.....Maxwell felt his breath upon his nose...  
  
"I never wanted to hurt you Maxwell" he said softly " But now I do not see why I felt that way." He shrugged, and smiled softly. "There are lessons learned in all this." Anderson came closer, and parted his lips......   
  
"YAGH! YOU MONSTER.....YOU BIT ME!"  
  
Anderson cackled happily as he allowed himself to be dragged away by Alucard, now joined by Seras. Maxwell's hands flew to his red bleeding nose, fingers painfully probing the swelling. He looked up, and saw Anderson smiling at him with the tips of his canines reddened and dripping.  
  
"Monster!" he screeched, and flung himself away from Integral. He shakily stood up, and grabbed Enrique by the sleeve of his priest robes.  
  
"This is it Hellsing! This is it for all of you!" he screamed hystericlly "The Vatican will hear about this, and you will all see! All of you are banished from Catholic territories from here on out!"  
  
Heinkel shuddered and let out a gasp, while Yumiko burst into tears and leaned onto Walter for support. Seras glanced quickly at Alucard and then at Anderson, who was not smiling now. A mournful look was now on his face, and he lifted the cross on the chain around his neck and stared down at it.  
  
Integral narrowed her eyes, and tossed the cigar to the floor, stomping on it in silent outrage.  
  
"So this means civil war then?" she said calmly.  
  
"More than war, Sir Hellsing , bitch of the Round Table! This will go on and on and on until the other, better organization is wiped out! You may keep the betraying trash, for they are nothing of worth to me or to GOD." He spat onto the floor, and made for the entrance of the main gallery.  
  
"Expect an attack some time or another. When the time comes, there will be bloodshed. Who wins...will have to start greasing some palms for useful equipment. I certainly know you do, Sir Hellsing." he said in monotone. "You were shaken badly by the Valetine brothers attack..if you think that was bad...expect total Hell now."  
  
Integral burned holes into his retreating back, and turned around to look over her troops.  
  
Two vampires.....a butler with razor wires...a insane nun ....a gun loving priestess....a priest swordsman....a group of rebels with a drawling slacker leader.  
  
Who said they had a chance of losing?  
  
Besides from the capital of the Cathlic world and about a couple million people, no one.  
  
"Get up." she said curtly. Placing her hands behind her back, she instantly took on her role of command again.  
  
"As soon as we reach the HQ, there will be an emergency meeting. For the time being, do try to think up a plan of attack......God knows what we will expect out of that violent, no good bastard."  
  
"And what if he does something unexpected?"  
  
"If you keep yourself on guard Miss Heinkel, that slipup will never happen."  
  
"If it does?"  
  
"We'll be dead by then, so what's the worry?" she chuckled.  
  
No one else did. 


	17. Dancer in the Dark

"So what's the plan?"  
  
Annoying blonde strands were brushed away with stiff, tired fingers as Integral lifted her head from the table. Her suit top had long been discarded onto the floor along with her tie, and Alucard amusedly noticed the dark rings under her eyes, spreading outwards like ripples on a lake of frosted blue. She turned her gaze to the half dozing Heinkel, biting down on her 25th cigarette, depenging entirely on the exhausted effect of nicotine to stay alert. Besides her, Yumiko slept upright, every so often shoved back up by a grumpy Walter while he drank cup after cup of tea flavored with extra lemon. His thin seemingly lipless mouth was made even more grim by the striking bitterness of the lemon, and only moved to grumble when Yumiko drooled onto his shoulder. Heinkel yawned, and stubbed out her cigarette along with the others in the blackened brass ashtray.  
  
"So what's the plan?" she repeated.  
  
"Besides from the invasion of the lower depths, lighting the barrels of gunpowder and killing Enrico Maxwell? Nothing. No details, no plans, or any influences" she said with a cursory glance at Heinkel " but otherwise...we have a goal."  
  
The vampire chuckled softly, and placed his boots upon the table in front of Heinkel with unecessary flourish.  
  
""Wo steckt der Priester?" Where's your priest?) he said lazily to the priestess, who stiffened. Integral, annoyed at the lack of attention on her part, coughed slightly.  
  
"Sie sprechen Deutsch?"(You speak German?) Heinkel whispered hoarsely.  
  
"Ja."(Yes.) He responded with a snort of laughter. "Vor ich gerade geschah, Ihre dumme kleine Sprache ungefähr 300 Jahren zu studieren."(I have studied your silly little language some 300 years ago.)  
  
Heinkel ignored the blantant insult to her language, and pointed to Integral. "Spricht sie deutsch?"(Does she speak german?) she demanded.  
  
"Nein."(No.)  
  
Heinkel grinned widely, and and gave a snide wave of her hand to Integral, who narrowed her gaze.  
  
"If you may Sir Hellsing, I wish to discuss private matters with your pet alone. If you are so kind as to remove Sir Walter and my friend to their quarters, I promise to share what we have talked about to great detail."  
  
The young woman felt her hand itch to slap the smug look of victory away from Heinkel's face, but only straightened and folded her hands together.  
  
"I will not leave this room. I will send away Sir Water and Miss Yumiko but I must stay. I do not trust you fully...yet. AND do not even try to disuade me, Alucard.I have the perfect right to stay here and listen to this...interesting conversation."  
  
Heinkel shrugged.  
  
"Your choice, Dame des Eises."(Your choice, Lady of Ice.)  
------------------------  
  
Alucard waited until Integral sat back down, and smiled with delight when she whipped out the small recorder from under the table. Heinkel scowled, but turned a blind eye as she loaded the tape in in order to face Alucard's red eyes and bright sharp toohed grin.  
  
"Sie haben meine Frage nicht beantwortet."."(You never answered my question.) He leaned forward, and leaned his chin on the back of one hand.  
  
""Was? Alexander ist bei Victoria. Fragen Sie mich nicht, was die anstelln ... ich will es auch nicht wissen." ."(What? Alexander is with Miss Victoria. Don't ask me what they are doing...I do not wish to know.) Heinkel smirked when she noticed the slight flash of anger cross Alucard's face , and casually reached for another cigarette. Integral growled softly in her chest when she saw a cigar in Heinkel's hand, one of her best. She stayed quiet though, for fear of missing anything essential.  
  
""Ist das so? Egal ... weniger Belastung. Jetzt,"(Is that so? Oh well....less burden) he said as he took a sip of the ruby red blood from his wineglass "What are Iscariot's weaknesses in your opinion?" Integral nodded in grateful approval, and pressed record on the tapeplayer.   
  
Heinkel laughed rudely, and shook her head. Alucard smiled and began to laugh along with her in her disbelieving hysterical delight. Suddenly, he grabbed her chin and squeezed tightly, the smile never leaving his face as hers fled.  
  
""Noch bin ich freundlich. Sagen Sie die Wahrheit ."(I'm asking nicely) he growled through his clenched smile. "Sagen Sie die Wahrheit..... Was sind die Schwächen?"(Say the truth....what are the weaknesses?)  
  
Heinkel jerked away, and gritted her teeth. Flames of anger rose higher and higher in her green eyes as she glared at the still smiling master vampire, before flicking her gaze to the smirking Integral.  
  
"Leck mich!!"(LICK ME!) she snarled suddenly as she knocked away the wineglass. Alucard didn't even acknowlege it's smashing as Heinkel stood up and glared at him with her hands in tight fists at her sides.  
  
"Nicht piss ich weg, sie batard! Ich habe eine schlechte Woche gehabt, und ich benötige nicht Ihre Drohungen!"(Don't piss me off, you bastard! I have been through enough this week and I don't want to hear what you have to say!)  
  
""Bring mich nicht zur Weißglut, du Bastard! Ich hab genug durchgemacht und deinen Scheiß hör ich mir nicht an!".  
  
"Ich weiß .... du hast viel durchgemacht in letzter Zeit."(I understand......you have been through much this past week) he said slowly, and willed her to sit back down. He gave a wink to Integral, who sighed and rolled her eyes.  
  
Heinkel sat back, and took an another drag on the cigar.  
  
"Die Fenster." (The windows)  
  
"Was?"(What?) He motioned to Integral, who onced again pressed record.  
  
""Die Fenster führen in Maxwells Büro."."(The windows lead into Maxwell's office.) She pointed to Alucard's guns under his coat""Du kannst doch schießen, oder? Richtig gut, nicht? Dann kümmerst du dich um die Truppen, der dreckige Verräter gehört mir."  
  
(You can shoot, no? You can shoot well? You may overtake the troops and the betrayer is mine.)  
  
"Einverstanden?"(Agreed?)  
  
The vampire turned to his Master, and closed his eyes.  
  
"Einverstanden."(Agreed.)  
  
Heinkel let out a small squeal of delight, and leapt out of her chair like a little girl. She snatched up her trenchcoat,and shrugged it on over her chengosam.  
  
"Der Führer fällt und der kleine richtlinie !" she sang as she made for the double doors. "Der Führer weint am ersten Blut!Heute abend! Heute abend! Der Führer beendet die Tat und alle kommen für das abschließende Bravo!"(looks down*Gee can you read?)  
  
Integral blinked, and shut off the recorder.   
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"The windows." He opened his scarlet eyes, and smiled softly. "The windows are weak, The leader will fall and the small will rule! The leader will weep at first blood.....tonight....tonight....The Leader ends the act and all come for the final bravo."  
-----------------------  
  
The wedding dress was perfect. All silk and pearl, the white lace cap topping it off with it's perfect point in the middle of her forehead. Rubies sparkle at her throat, diamonds flash on her fingers, white silk glistens and the mother of pearl seeds at her waist circle her hip's like a lover's arm. Creamy shoulders are bare to the eye, and little feet snug in glass shoes. Hair no longer spiked, but soft and tendrils tickle her throat made it all the more appealing to brush away and kiss.  
  
Large hands come from behind and allow themselvees to rest on the soft flesh. He stared into the mirror, trying in vain to capture her eyes in the reflection.  
  
"Will you?"  
  
"No."  
  
He furrows his brows, and the hands go closer to the base of her throat. Closing his eyes, he smiles as he leans against her.  
  
"No new experiences?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I can take you anywhere....any place...Paris...Peru...The Eiffel Tower. Forever and ever, we shall journey...until there is nothing to see."  
  
"I've seen it all."  
  
He fingers the rubies casually, rubs them with a pad absently. The hands come closer.  
  
"There will be many of these, I promise. Drowning in their scarlet glow...you will submit."  
  
"No."  
  
The rubies turn to blood, and stain the deep decollectage of the dress. He lifts a hand, and holds it tightly.  
  
"There will be more diamonds, to make up for tears of the past."  
  
"No."  
  
Sparkling becomes liquid, and make small puddles on the floor. The hands come in closer. He sighs, and lays his chin on one shoulder. She just stands stiffly, still staring into the mirror.  
  
"You've seen nothing."  
  
"I've seen it all."  
  
He cups her wet hand, and lifst away a palm filled with her tears.  
  
"Water of regret. Your Niagra Falls."  
  
"I have seen water,it's water....that's all."  
  
"The man you will marry and the home you will share?" he questions, as he brushes at the small tendrils with his nose. She closes her eyes, claspes her hands together as if in prayer as he nuzzles at the long cord in her neck, aware of his teeth nibbling slightly.  
  
"To be honest" she lifts a hand and moves his head from her shoulder "I really do not care."  
  
With a moan, he presses his face into scented hair at the back of her neck, where it hangs low and soft.  
  
"Your grandson's hand as he plays with your hair?" He says quietly.  
  
She moves away slightly, but the hands come in closer.  
  
"To be honest, I really do not care."  
  
He grimaces, and runs his fingers gently up and down the line of her throat.  
  
"You've seen nothing." He says as he leans in.  
  
"I've seen it all."  
  
"All...except this."  
  
She watches in mute horror as his sharp canines grow bigger, and tries to move away. His hands however grip tightly around her throat, and he presses his lips to the two small holes. The room darkens, the dress turns into red silk, the pearl seeds falling off one by one. He whirls her around, forcing her to look into his eyes.  
  
"I've seen the brightness in one little spark.I've seen what I chose and I've seen what I need,and that is enough, to want more would be greed."  
  
The fangs are exposed he pulls back his lips,and she falls into darkness.  
-----------------------  
  
Seras jerked upwards, breathing heavily as her hand flew to her neck. Sighing in relief, she fell back.  
  
Nothing.  
  
Just a nightmare.  
  
She turned onto her side, clutching her stomach tightly. It was like the other one...the priest trying to turn her to his side, trying to seduce her for his benefit, this time for marriage. It felt so real...so horribly, sweetly, temptingly real.  
  
'It is real' she thought bitterly as she punched her pillow. 'That's exactly what he's trying to do.' She turned onto her back, and glared at the ceiling with misplaced contempt.  
  
The museum incident had stirred up her feelings in the past few hours since it had taken place. Her former master, despite his wound, had not attracted her attention as much as his obvious emotional anguish that the loss of his title and rights. Maybe it was just maternal...maybe it was genuine conern for his welfare...maybe she was just being stupid.  
  
And why was that?  
  
"Because you are stupid" she mumbled. She tugged at the collar of her nightgown, suddenly noticing the utter itch of lace tight around her throat. So that was what the hands were..go figure. No wonder he was strangling her....she glanced down at her chest. No blood either, She yawned, and sat up wearily. She put on her pink robe, and made her way to the small window, ignoring the cold floor's little barbs of pain.   
  
She turned her gaze upwards, staring full into the moon's bright glow as it bore down.  
  
"Twinkle twinkle little star.." she said faintly "How I wonder what you are...up above the sky so bright...like a diamond in the night...twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are." She gave a short laugh, and closed the window slowly. She went back to her bed, and sat down on the edge of it. With a quick look around, she leaned down to draw a small box from under her bed. With a snap, it opened, and she quickly flicked through the photos until she found the one she was looking for.  
  
"...Hi Dad. How're you...." she sat silent for a second, then continued. "I'm fine, I guess. Just stalking and killing the undead for the good of mankind. Crazy huh?" She chuckled, and crinkled her eyes. " It is, at least I think so. I have two men bargaining for my soul, enemies in the midst of my workplace, my love life isn't worth crap....so same old same old. You never had to deal with that, especially when Mom was still alive.....you know I actually can stand blood now? It used to be whenever I cut my knee I'd scream and scream, now I just lick it off and go my way. Bet you wished I did that when I was a kid huh? Also Daddy, what do you think about me being the object of affection of a Catholic insane priest? Bet you would run him right off the lawn if I had ever brought some guys like that home, huh?" She laughed fully now, and smiled sadly at the picture. "Daddy...I have to go now." She pressed her lips to the picture, and tucked it under her pillow. "Sleep tight....don't let the earwigs bite."  
  
Seras took no notice when minutes later, Alexander stepped away from the shadowed corner to silently walk out the door. Closing it behind him, he bent his head to stare at the floor.  
  
"He comes to the daughter the gift of a Father..." he said softly as he walked down the hall."The Father....is what she seeks." 


	18. Epiphany From Past

"Just a small town girl......living in her....fuckkk...forgot the words...."  
  
Pip chugged down another pint of beer, and wrapped his arm around the woozy Heinkel, barely missing the glass trembling in her hand. Heinkel giggled, and licked the foam off the tip of his nose.  
  
"Buhbay, did ah ever tell you that you have the greeeaatesttt tits in the wholeeeeee entire fucking world?" he slurred, as his hand wrapped around one. The priestess snorted and giggled, taking another deep swig of her ale before she fastened both of her arms around his neck.  
  
"Don't think you did..." she whispered silkily into his ear "Wanna see them?"  
  
Pip threw his beer mug into a wall, and grabbed Heinkel by the arm. The two leaned and stumbled away to the nearest coat room, leaving Anderson to sulk over his spiked ginger ale.  
  
"She's my flower.....she's my butterfffllllyyyy..." he murmured to himself, on the brink of tears.Big salty droplets flowed down his cheeks, getting into his drink as he slugged it's bitter contents. His hands and lips trembled as he stared into a puddle that looked like Sera's face, and he cried even harder.  
  
"She's my nutter butter!" he whimpered. Sobs wracked his body as he went facedown to the bar's top, and one hand pounded steadily on and on. " Oh my beautiful nutter butter, what has he done to you?!"  
  
"Oi, shut the fuck up ya bloody insane wanka!"   
  
Anderson glared at the drunken oaf, his face slick with tears and his lower lip pouty, The priest lurched up wearily from his stool, and made his way over to the now afraid oaf, grabbing him by the collar and lifting him up to meet him face to face.   
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"Oi!! Lemme down you huge fucking bugger!" the drunk shrilled "I'll stick my foot up my ass so ya can taste the shit on it you fucking cocker!"  
  
Anderson belched in the wriggling man's face, and threw him down to the floor.  
  
"Go sit on my penis." he mumbled. With a few dry heaves, he managed to take his vengeance, covering the unconcious drunk with haggis and ginger ale in a pasty mixture. Anderson made for the nearest closet, and managed to get his coat out from behind Heinkel's bare back and Pip's groping hands. He shook his head, and crossed himself as he closed the door on the sweaty writhing bodies.  
  
"Damn horny kids...always want to fuck and fuck some more....why,when I was their age I was cleaning the streets of PIRATES....hate those fuckers...smell like parrots..."  
----------------  
  
Seras knew that something was wrong the minute before he knocked on her door. The prickling of the hairs on the back of her neck, the outbreak of heat on her hands and chest....then she heard his feet and drunken ramblings.  
  
"I wassss just a lonely Scottish boy...left on the moors of Dundee...she gone and left for the better life...away from home and meeeeee....." he sang to himself. He knocked only once, and then pushed open the door.  
  
Seras sighed, wishing she had taken the thought to push the button down on the coffin. Anderson, dirty, beraggled and smelly, stood swaying in the middle of her room. He smiled weakly, and flopped down into her desk chair.  
  
"Well....I wonder where you were tonight." she said coolly. Leaping off her bed, peereing into his face closely, ignoring the inflamed whites of his eyes roaming all over her features and the thickness of ale on his breath "I thought priests weren't suppose to drink." she smirked.  
  
"Only...not....that much..." he wheezed. "I'm sorry....I didn't want to, my little nutter butter..."  
  
Seras titlted her head to the side, confused.  
  
"Nutter...butter?"  
  
"My sweet, precious, little nutter butter butterflowerfly." His lower lip began to tremble again, and he grabbed and hugged her to his heaving chest.  
  
"Never leave me my precious nutter butter lovey dovey sweetie pie. I will die without your lovely dovely...nutly?....yes, nutly face. I am so alone...so very alone and cold.....I never had anyone to call my own. Yumiko has grown up and gone the way of the sisterhood, and Heinkel likes that Pip boy.....I only have you my snooky."  
  
"That's very sweet Master but you smell like vomit and cat piss."  
  
"That's the scent of loveeeee."   
  
"No,that's the scent of pubs. You were SUPPOSE to stay sober for the first attack tomorrow." she snapped, pushing herself out of his arms. The priest shrugged weakly, and began to tug off his shirt.  
  
"NOW what are you doing?!"  
  
"Wanna go to sleep...."  
  
She began to grab him by his arm, and heaved him out of the chair.  
  
"Then go to YOUR room."  
  
"No...wanna sleep here."  
  
"No."  
  
"Yesss...."  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
Seras growled, and began to rip off his shirt and priest's collar angerily. He gaped, and then a slow smile dissolved the amazed look.  
  
"Miss Victoria...are you trying to seduce me?"  
  
She ignored him, leaning down to tug off his shoes, and kicked him toward her bed.  
  
"Go to sleep, you dumb bastard."  
  
He saluted her once, and sank down into the warm feather comforter. He yawned, and snuggled into soft pillows.  
  
"Smells like you....." he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her pillow. She rolled her eyes, and pulled the sheet over his head,and made for the door.  
  
"Don't I get a goodnight kiss?" he called out.  
  
"GO TO SLEEP STINKY!"  
-----------------------  
  
"And then he barges into my room and starts saying silly things! He calls me his 'nutter butter' and his butterfly....Master....what can I do!?"  
  
Alucard merely smirked at his subordinate, and shrugged.  
  
"Nothing for now.....I shouldn't even be talking to you in these times. I know I can't kill him or I will be forced  
back into the dungeon for another....200 years I estimate? He is a sneaky man Police Girl. At whatever cost, you have to resist what he offers you no matter how tempting it is. The man is desperate, needing maybe. Years as a living weapon have taken it's toll on his mentality and declined him to a point where he can barely think for himself."  
  
"How do you know this?"  
  
"I simply do. I've seen it happen before....but in his case..it's more a personal matter. " He leaned back, and folded his hands together neatly. "You know he hasn't been with a woman in 30 years, as well as smoking and drinking?" The vampire laughed softly. "I can't believe he'd break the record now....he's mad with insane lust for you Police Girl. It's radiates from his every move and every flickering of his eyes. I advise you to be careful...he can take that need into overdrive in circumstances that you will be involved in."  
  
Seras shuddered, and brought a hand up to her mouth, her fangs biting into the cold flesh of her thumb.  
  
"How do you know this?" she asked quietly.  
  
Alucard chuckled again, and spread his palms in helpless amusement.  
  
"Let's just say I was the cause of all those circumstances."  
----------------  
"Avec des pieds minuscules et un petit nez..."(With small feet and a tiny little nose...)  
  
Could it be...?  
  
"Mon valetine mon valetine...serez-vous mon valentine?"(My valetine, my valentine, will you be my valetine?)  
  
It can't be...but it is the same.  
  
"Oui monsieur, je serai à vous...."(Yes sir, I wll be yours....)  
  
She stares down at him with large benevolent eyes of blue, leaving him as weak kneed as when he was a young boy. Her dark hair still stays primly up, like all that time ago.Her nurses uniform has not a speck of soil tainting it's cleanliness, and her smile, as always, is engimatic and welcoming. She looks so very small...so very frail...but her eyes betray her weaknesses and make her stronger.  
  
"Mon plus cher Alexander...."(My dearest Alexander...)  
  
Her voice....it was the same as whe she was 16 and living the life of the sisterhood.   
  
"Ma cherie..."(My dear...) Fumbling for words, he stares into her sharp little face. "Où avez-vous été?" He lapses into the language of his religious home, and hers as well.  
  
Her eyelids lower in satisfication, and she bends down to sweep away his sweat laden hair from his eyes.  
  
"J'avais ici attendu. Je manque tu.....vous avez manqué moi?"(I have waited. I missed you...have you missed me?)  
  
"Oui....tellement."(Yes....much)  
  
She leans down, kissing his brow with the love of a mother with her child, brushing her lips back and forth. With a quiet sigh, he wraps his long arms around her little body, grateful for the warmth she's providing him with. Images from long ago dance in his head, remembering only the good that came out of the short time they were together....he was still the 16 year old boy who had fumbled for words everytime she grew angry with him, the one who dropped the grocery bags whenever she flew past him in a fit of temper. She who had cried "MERDE! LE PETIT JESUS CHRIST!"(SHIT! THE LITTLE JESUS CHRIST!) when she was told she would be grounded for bicycling with boys. She who declared a dry cake made from her hands the best one ever made and she who did not hesitate to leap on a bleating ram about to be shaved and wrestle it to the ground. She of the flashing eyes and pale skin typical of her hot French bloodline.  
  
He, who had loved her.  
  
"Mais divisé par haine."(Yet divided by hatred.) he whispered bitterly, narrowing his eyes and tightening his hold.  
  
War had torn them apart. She had begged him to not fight with the Germans, hearing of the massive slaughter on their side by a, according to a crazed young German medic, "monster from the pits of Hell." Nevertheless, he hadn't relented, snapping at her to mind her own buisness. She had warned him she would never see him again and she would be happy to see him go. He had said he didn't care and left her behind to cry her stubborn tears.  
  
He had become a mere chaplain, always ready to give aid to those mentally and spiritually stressed, giving the last rites to the dead and dying. He eventually overcame his anger and wrote to her often, begging her forgivness for his utter rashness. There had only been one reply....cold and distant, it clearly stated she was leaving France as soon as the war was over and she hoped to never see him again. He began to write angry letters then, questioning her fidelity to him.   
  
She never wrote back.  
  
It would be many lonely nights before he would meet his final fate.Thatn last moments he had thought of the sin he was about to commit and how he had messed up so very badly with her....  
  
He shakes his head, and gently prys her away from his chest.  
  
"Je suis désolé...." he whispers hoarsely.(I am sorry....)  
  
"Non...ne pleurez pas pour moi.Cri pour cette fille.Vous avez été dur avec elle comme vous étiez avec moi.Vous pouvez être si cruel."(No...do not cry for me. Cry for that girl. You were hard with her as you were with me. You can be so cruel.)  
  
"Queest-ce que je puis faire?"(What should I do?)  
  
She kisses his forehead lightly, and steps away.  
  
"Soyez aimable avec elle .Soyex doux avec elle. Surtout,oubliez-moi. Foyer sur elle."( Be kind to her. Be soft with her. Most of all, forget me. Focus on her.)  
  
"Ma amour...."(My love....)  
  
"Oubliez-moi Anderson! S'il vous plait, oubliez-moi ou je ne vous pardonnerai jamais!"(Forget me Anderson! Please, forget me or I will never forgive you!)  
  
"...Oui ma dame."(...Yes my lady.)  
  
She smiles for the last time, and blows him a kiss.  
  
"Je t'aime mon Anderson!"(I love you my Anderson!) her voice comes distant, fading into the risng mist.....  
  
He looks down at his feet, and clenches his fists hard at his sides.  
  
"...Je t'aime...ma Annie."(I love you....my Annie) 


	19. To War!

Sex is the sweetest balance of human actions.Animal like...civil bed partners....it can be either a bed of revelation or a bed of hooded lies.The fierceness of the act itself shows the rawness of human emotion. The tenderness leads to the building of emotion. The climax is the overflow of need and the filling of joy. Need is need. Desire is desire. Lust is lust. But Love is all and one. Love is everything. Love is need in the most unselfish form, Love is desire's perverse innocence, and Love is lust in it's purity.  
  
Love is all.  
  
Love conquers all.  
  
Love can be corrupted though by an angry priestess waving a gun at your crotch.  
  
"YOU DID WHAT TO MY WHAT?"  
  
Shots rang out as Heinkel ran after Pip's bedsheeted form, her legs bowlegged and only a sloppy halter top made from a bandanna around her chest. The little bastard was fast...she had to admit that. Fast with slipping a dick and tongue and fast on his feet. But still..Heinkel took no penis between her legs, especially with a fuck of a hangover. She aimed for his half erect dingdong flapping against his leg as he burrowed into a corner, squealing in fear. The priestess growled softly, and marched over to grab him by his long, unbraided hair. Bolden strands were yanked as she dragged him away from his crappy hiding place, and she threw him to the floor. Still holding the gun, she kneeled and straddled his body to ensure of his entrapment.   
  
"Now...." Heinkel whispeed through gritted teeth "All I know is that I'm naked, my crotch hurts like hell and I can't keep my legs together. What...the....fuck?" She pressed the gun against his quivering throat, pulling back the trigger.  
  
Pip swallowed deeply, and scowled up at her. "Jesus Christ, ya don't have to be such a fucking cunt, Heinkel! Ya enjoyed every second of it ya fucking hypocrite! Who was sucking me off and moaning and groaning, Santa Claus? No! It was you, you fucking Catholic cunt! Now here ya are putting a fucking gun to MY fucking throat like you don't give a shit about what I think or what I feel about you!"  
  
"I sucked you off?!" She spat a hock of saliva onto the floor. "Disgusting. Totally...truly...disgusting."  
  
"Don't knock it baby. Ah returned the favor when ya were done."  
  
Heinkel leapt off the young man quickly, and stumbled over to her scattered, floor ridden clothes. Shaking, she pulled on her trenchcoat,staring gravely at her ripped chengosam. With a jerk of her arm, she threw it onto Pip.  
  
"I expect you to fix this."  
  
Pip sat up, examining the rips with intense persual. Standing up, he weaved his way to Heinkel's side.  
  
"Why don't you like me, Heiny?"  
  
"What reason IS there for me to like you? You shot my injured foot, got me beaten up by the resident blood sucker and now this. If anything..." se snatched up her wallet, making sure the contents were still intact. "I would have shot you by now."  
  
Pip smirked, and wrapped his arm around her waist. "And why didn't you?"  
  
"Because, that would lead to your employer feeding both me and my comrades to before-said numero uno resident bloodsucker. Now take it off or I'll punch you in the crotch."  
  
Quickly removing his arm, he grabbed up his army drab pants and bomber's jacket. SUddenly, he froze and reached up for his eyepatch.  
  
"What the hell....?"  
  
"Oh. That thing. I took it off because it freaked me out. Sorry abot your eye....really, it didn't bother me. I've seen enough blown out eyesockets in my lifetime for the effect to wear off."  
  
Pip winced. So she knew. Well....good for her. At least somebody at last,outside his circle of men, knew his dark secret.  
  
"Really."  
  
"Really. We all have our secrets....including myself. This just adds to it."  
  
Pip turned around as he zipped up the front of his jacket. "So ah guess we keep this a secret then,huh?"  
  
"Afraid so. Pip..?"  
  
"Yea?" He smirked at how she hesitantly used his name.  
  
"The next time you want to fuck me, just ask and don't get me boozed up...the headache isn't really worth it."  
  
"Gotcha, Heiny"  
-----------------  
  
"Sleeping...Beast?"  
  
Anderson cracked open a weary eyelid to confront her scrunched up, annoyed face. He smiled slightly, the gummy taste in his mouth making him want to gag.The pungent smell floating around him wasn't too helpful either. But, as always, she was oblivious to his antics and focused only on the after of his actions.  
  
"No..." she mumbled "More like hungover, unshaven, smelly Beast." She gave him a slight shove with the heel of her palm. "Get up."  
  
"Seras..love....please do leave me alone for another hour."  
  
She sighed, and sat down beside him. She ruffled his hair unconciously. Normally, if it had been any other situation, she would have been too afraid to even touch him. But in this current state of mind and body, she could have performed a riverdance on his head and gotten more response from a broom.  
  
"You know we're going to war tonight...don't you."  
  
Nodding slowly to ease the stiffness of his joints, he gently pushed her away from the bed and swung his legs across. He let out a lion worthy yawn, and got onto his feet. He stared blankly down at his bare chest, and gazed up at her questioningly.  
  
"Oh! I took off your shirt before you stole my bed. I'm afraid I tore it a bit....." She smiled sweetly as she held up the tattered priest's top and collar. "So you'll have to wear something else."  
  
"There's something else?" He muttered as he scratched his chest. "I'm not too eager to wear a hot pink zip up, Miss Victoria..."  
  
"No no no....for one, I would never let you wear my shirts. You'd rip the things right open. No...you see, you're slightly but not much bigger than Alucard-"  
  
"I'm not wearing a monster's shirt. I wasn't even aware his had clothes besides that Rocky Horror getup he wears."  
  
She frowned at that, but kept her tone light. "Well, would you prefer a suit of Sir Integra's-"  
  
"Don't get me started." he snapped.  
  
"Well! You can just go wandering around half naked and without a shower then! Get out, for I'm growing tired of seeing your huge bulk of......huge!!" She whirled around, and threw open her closet. "Now if you dont mind, I'm going to put on my shoes and take a little dawn walk."  
  
"Oh no you don't. You have to stay with me and train for tonight, child."  
  
"Back to child now, are we? It's funny because you were just adressing me by my first name for once. And have I not already told you to get off the bed?!"  
  
He stood up, and glared down at her.   
  
"If you want to take a walk, fine. But I have to go with you."  
  
"Well...you're not going out like that.The last thing I need is a smelly drunkard with no shirt screaming about heretics behind me. The dogwalkers will have a fit, and the bobbies will promptly smack you good and hard with their sticks."  
  
He threw up his hands in defeat. "Fine! If it means so much to you, I'll wear the God forsaken suit!"  
  
Seras giggled, and clopped out in her boots and up the stairs.  
  
"Knew he'd puss out sooner or later."  
--------------  
  
"....This is so demeaning."  
  
"Quit squirming, it looks nice on you."  
  
"I, Alexander Anderson, wearing the enemy's suit....remarkable."  
  
"It goes well with your eyes, and it IS a man's suit.No one will notice...except for Sir Integra."  
  
Anderson growled deeply in his throat as invisible hands in the mirror fiddled and adjusted the aspects of the suit.iss Victoria had been lucky enough to get one while Sir Integra was down in the Hellsing dining room, enjoying an early morning tea session with the butler. Lucky for him, the Hellsing leader was tall for a woman and the shoulder pads were removable.Seras had taken enough time to unstitch the cuffs of the jacket to make the arms longer, and since the front couldn't close, she provided a simple white button up shirt. Luckily, his pants were clean and in good condition, so there was no need to adjust the crotch of the suit's slacks.  
  
"There. You look decent." She stepped away, and looked over her handiwork.   
  
He held out his arms at his sides, and turned slowly around. "Heh.... not too bad considering the hangover?"  
  
Seras rolled her eyes, and made for the door.  
  
"Coming?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Promise not to kill anyone?"  
  
"Scout's honor."  
  
"Even the Kahil Krisnas?"  
  
"Those little bastards sure can dance....they'll be spared for now."  
----------------  
  
The mist was light on the ground, and parted easily into wisps of bloom as they walked. Silently maing their way across the park's darkened light area, they only stopped to observe the little unique distractions that kept them rom observing each other. Seras dove deeper into the collar of her zip up, but perked up cheerily at a small group of elderly women. The group smiled at the supposedly young couple, whispering to each other with raised, knowing eyebrows that knew the signs of young love.  
  
"I don't like how they stare at us." Anderson whispered to her harshly. "It makes me feel like a side of meat."  
  
The girl groaned, and shook her head. "Everything the normal people do makes you nervous."  
  
"I am not unnerved by my foster daughters, now am I?"  
  
"If you're talking about Miss Heinkel and Yumiko, they're so not normal it makes me laugh."  
  
Seras ignored his five letter remark and let out a squeal. The priest instantly flicked out an sword, leaving the old ladies gaping in mixed horror and surprise. The sword seemingly flew back into it's owner's coat when Anderson saw the dog. White with black splotches, it's red tongue lapped Sera's cheek joyfully as it's paws rested neatly on her knees. Seras giggled, and stroked the long dark muzzle gently with unrestrained joy.  
  
"I remember my dog. He was black and tan and smaller, but same breed as this one."  
  
"It's a what's it?"  
  
"A cocker spaniel. They're such sweet little dogs...simply love them to death. Don't they just have the most sad eyes?"  
  
"All I see right now are your panties." He growled as he yanked her up to her feet. "How dare you do this in oublic?"  
  
She blinked once, and squinted. "Doing what?"  
  
"THIS!" He reached out a hand and yanked down her short yellow skirt roughly. "I knew you were trying to make yourself a whoreish spectacle and THIS just proves it!"  
  
"Oh for God's sake, Alexander!"  
  
The old women gasped, and raised their canes menacingly toward the disgruntled priest. The dog, now confused by all the uproar, let out a yap of confusion before Anderson shooed it away with his boot.   
  
"Ey you bugga, what're you doin' to dat poor girl?!" a bluehaired crone rasped.  
  
"Nothing of your buiness, you old shell!" Anderson shouted back. He pointed accusingly at Seras. "See what you've gotten us into?"  
  
"Alex-"  
  
"None of your rot! I expected better out of you, child! Now this just proves to me that you're nothing but a slut of Babylon!"  
  
"It was an accident!"  
  
"No excuses!"  
  
"ALEXANDER ANDERSON!"  
  
He glared at her, and pointed to her skirt.  
  
"Only whores wear frilly panties....Devil spawn."  
  
The vampiress let out a screech of anger, and ripped open the front of her zipup. "OKAY! I'm a whore! Happy?! I wanna rape a cactus!! I'm one huge bloody slut, I can tell you that!" She stood proudly into front of the gaping priest, her hands on her hips and a smirk on her face.  
  
"Close it....please."  
  
"Alexander...it's jammed."  
  
The priest shuddered, and rubbed a hand across his forehead. He turned to the now silent group, and waved them over.  
  
"Tell me...do any of you have a spare key?"  
  
Seras looked up quickly, and shook her head.  
  
"Nuh uh...now chance of getting one of those near these babies."  
  
"Well,I'll just have to spit on it then." He grabbed her by the arms, and pulled her close. She watched in disgust as he began to hock up saliva.  
  
".....Get that key and get to work."  
  
He swallowed, and let her go.   
  
"As you wish."  
-----------------  
5:00 p.m  
  
Heinkel grinned softly as she held up a day's work. She had figured the chengosam would never be fully repaired. She had taken the chance to create porbably one of her best works of art. With Yumiko's patient sewing lessons and stolen knitting tools, she had ripped the chengosam clean in the middle. She had used the cotton bedsheets to make the other half. She sewed them into leggings, and snipped off the showing strands of thread. She then used another layer of felt on the inside collar of her priest's collar, making it thicker. Wasn't necessary,it just gave her a feeling of.....security.  
  
"Rampant sexuality they say...."  
-----------------------  
6:00 p.m.  
  
"Is it possible to create a whip-like katana?"  
  
Walter furrowed his brow as he examined the finely crafted sword before him. He took off his momcle and handed it to Yumiko, who whipped out a napkin to polish it.  
  
"It could...hollow pieces of metal with piano wire strung through them...if moved fast enough, could possibly become almost solid in shape yet fluid in motion. Slowly, it can strangle the victim and jerked especially hard, decapitate them. Why do you ask?"  
  
"Just an idea. It could come in handy. Strangulation seems to be one of YUMIKO's favorite death methods besides decapitation."  
  
"I see." He took his monocle from her hand, and placed it back on. "Tell me, Miss Takagi, HOW does YUMIKO come out?"  
  
She smiled shyly, and pressed a finger to her lips.  
  
"You'll see."  
------------------  
7:00 p.m.  
  
"Our Father, Who art in heaven,hallowed by Thy name: Thy kingdom come: Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread;and forgive us our trespasses, as we frogive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation: but deliver us from evil."  
  
"Amen."  
  
"Thank you, Miss Victoria.God bless you."  
  
--------------------  
8:00 p.m.  
  
"WHAT DO WE WANT?"  
  
"TO DESTROY THE ENEMY AND STEAL STUFF!"  
  
"WHEN DO WE WANT IT?"  
  
"NOW!"  
  
"WHERE'S OUR BURRITOS?"  
  
"IN THE ENEMY'S STOMACHS!"  
  
"HOW DO WE GET THEM OUT?"  
  
"RIP THEIR BLOODY BELLIES OPEN!"  
  
"HELL YEA!"  
----------------  
9:00 p.m.  
  
She puffed long on her cigar, as she stared out her office's windows. His presence was there.....choking her.  
  
"Are they ready?"  
  
"Define 'ready'."  
  
"Are they ready to storm into an top secret organization supported by an entire religon and by the blessed ultimate Man od God himself, with three blessed divine instruments of God as the leaders? Are they ready to kill? Does Are's horn sound and does my thousand eyes burn?"  
  
"If you want the truth...yes."  
  
She smiled.  
  
"Take no prisoners. Take all they need. Destroy what they can find."  
  
A cold chuckle.  
  
"To put it shortly...?"  
  
"Search and Destroy." 


	20. Gomen!

Gomen! I've been very busy as of late since joining debate, as well as a new friendship, as well as new writing styles.  
  
By this weekend, Dismissed will be updated for another ten chapters.  
  
-Portia 


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